S06E12 — Abed, what are you doing?

Abed, what are you doing?

阿布蒂 你干嘛呢

Freelancing.

赚外快中

You're not a spy for the city, are you?

你不是本市间谍吧

They've been sending footage of my classroom and pronounced me no worse than the teachers that work hard.

他们一直在发我教室的视频 然后说我不比那些努力工作的老师差

I can't tell you who I'm working for.

我不能告诉你我在为谁工作

It's a surprise.

是个惊喜

Well, don't get in the way.

好吧 那就别碍事

You know the rules, Jeff.

你知道规则的 杰夫

The sooner you ignore me, the sooner I stop being a factor .

你尽快无视我 就能尽快把我当空气

All right, people.

好了 大伙

Yesterday I wrote the word law on the board .

昨天 我在黑板上写了「法律」这词

This time, don't erase it, and maybe tomorrow we'll get even further.

这次 别擦 兴许明天就能多讲点

Now, I'm told Garrett has prepared a presentation for extra credit .

现在要放我之前跟加瑞特说的 能多赚学分的报告

By the way, everyone in class gets the credit because I'm not sure how much I should encourage this.

顺便跟大伙都说一下 班里每个人都会有额外的学分 因为我也不知道这玩意到底该不该整

Go ahead, Garrett.

整吧 加瑞特

Thank you.

谢谢

My presentation is about Marriage Law.

我的报告主题是 婚姻法

This is me, Garrett.

这是我 加瑞特

I'm in your class.

你们班里的我

This is Stacy.

这是史黛西

She is in our class as well.

她也在班里

This is what I want.

这就是我想要的

Oh, Garrett.

加瑞特

Stacy, will you marry me?

史黛西 你愿意嫁给我吗

Yes, yes, Garrett, yes, I will!

愿意 加瑞特 我愿意

Oh, Garrett!

加瑞特

Garrett and I have been seeing each other for 16 months, two weeks, and four days.

我跟加瑞特已经交往了 十六个月零两周又四天

Hey Leonard, what, are you gonna Bogart the disc all day?

We met at the school store, Pencils and Such. 我们在学校里的小卖店「铅笔等等」认识的

He said he was there for the Such.

他说他就是为了「等等」去的

I remember I was sweating a lot, and breathing heavy, and my heart felt like it was going to burst in my chest .

我记得我当时汗流如注 气喘如牛 心脏马上就要跳出我的胸膛了

But the day I met Stacy, most of those symptoms actually declined.

可我见到史黛西的那天 以上症状皆有缓解

Are you quite done?

你有完没完了

Yeah.

完了

Garrett wanted the proposal recorded.

加瑞特想把求婚记录下来

He thought his family might wanna see proof .

因为他家人可能需要看个证据

So now what are you shooting?

那你现在还拍什么

You had a strange look on your face.

你表情有些诡异

Oh, you're noticing faces now?

你现在还懂看表情了

Aren't you still smelling hair

你不是还得靠闻头发

to tell Frankie from Annie? - Yeah.

才能分出谁是弗兰谁是安妮吗 -是的

Well, it's official .

正式宣布

I'm getting laid.

哥要滚床单了

What are you doing?

你在干嘛了啦

Stop.

别闹啦

Hey, stop.

别闹了啦

If you don't put that silly thing away, I swear , I'm gonna stop loving you.

你再不把那个蠢东东拿开 人家发誓 再也不爱你了啦

Oh, that's it.

真是够了呢

Happy birthday.

生日快乐

What are you two doing?

你俩作什么幺蛾子呢We're doing Annie's Missing Lover footage. 我们在拍安妮的「思念爱人」片段

You, you know in movies where the hero's wife or girlfriend is dead or missing, and so he sits in the dark and he watches her in a home movie, or- or a hologram.

就电影里那种 男主的老婆或女友死了或者失踪了 然后男主就坐在黑漆漆的地方 看着她的家庭录像 或者全息图

Or a hologram over and over, and she's always beautiful and full of love, almost to the point of being stupid.

或者全息图 一遍一遍的看 她永远那么美丽 柔情爱意 一副傻白甜的样子

We're making footage like that for me in case I get kidnapped or murdered.

我们现在拍的视频就是 以备我被绑架或者谋杀之需

Oh, super healthy, guys.

超健康啊 同志们

The Health Department called.

卫生部来电

They don't want anything back.

他们啥都不想召回

Britta, don't look at the camera.

布雷塔 别看镜头

Okay, look at the camera.

好 看镜头

Today's Garrett's wedding.

今天是加瑞特的婚礼

For those who don't know, Garrett, he's a guy we don't really know, that we've known for like six years at school, the funny-looking guy.

在此介绍一下 加瑞特 这个人其实我们也不太了解 虽然我们当了六年同学了 他还是那个长相清奇的人

Britta, mean !

布雷塔 毒舌了

Sorry!

抱歉

The eccentric-looking guy.

长相反常的人

What's happening?

这是怎么了

Everything's going wrong.

怎么这么怪

That guy.

就那个人Remember when we said we were cleaning? 你还记得我们说要打扫吗

Yeah. But remember about Abed's documentary?

记得 可是别忘了阿布蒂在拍纪录片The documentary is about what we're doing. 这个纪录片就是拍我们在干嘛

And we're cleaning.

我们在打扫

Yeah, but if we're both cleaning then there's nobody to explain why.

对 可如果我们俩都打扫去了 就没人来解释为什么了

She doesn't understand filmmaking.

她不懂拍电影

I lived in New York.

我是住过纽约的人

What else should we talk about?

我们再谈点啥

We volunteered our apartment as a staging area where our friends can get ready and keep each other on time.

我们贡献出了自己的公寓 给我们的朋友当一个临时集结地 让他们能准备妥当 彼此督促守时

The thing to understand about our friends is that friends isn't an adequate label .

要了解我们的朋友 你得知道 「朋友」这个标签已经不足以形容了

We're an intensely, intimately bonded crew .

我们是紧密团结的组合

God. Oh, I can't, no!

天啊 不要 不

Do you want flashy forward, or cherry and classic ?

你是想要闪亮前卫还是经典樱桃红

Do you have black?

有黑的吗

That's a no.

这就表示没有

That beleaguered sigh means , no, I can't have black nails.

那声恼人的叹气表示 不行 我不能涂黑指甲

Don't look at the camera.

别看镜头

You absolutely can, and we all will when our bodies decompose.

你当然能看 等我们的尸体腐烂了就都能看了

Please don't Jim the camera like that.

请别学吉姆那样调戏镜头

Jim the camera?

调戏镜头

The color black hasn't had - It's not a color.

黑色打从... -根本不算颜色

Anything to do with death or edginess since '89!

89年以后跟死亡和前卫就没关系了

I mean, absence of color.

我是说它缺色彩

My accountant has black nails!

我的会计都会涂黑色指甲油

Your what?!

你的啥

Don't jump on that, my accountant, it's a figure of speech.

别咬着这个不放 我的会计 这是一种修辞方式

It's a form of speech called making things up.

这是一种说话方式 叫胡编乱造

Abed, can you get that?

阿布蒂 你能去开门吗

I can film you getting it.

我可以拍你去开门

It's open!

开着呢

Is it?

是吗

I don't know, let's see.

不知道 试试呗

Frankie. - Hi girl.

弗兰 -姐妹儿

So, I didn't, put on my wedding clothes, like you said.

听你们的 我没有穿着婚宴礼服来

So we can get dressed together and be girls together.

这样我们就可以一起打扮 享受闺蜜之乐

This is gonna be fun.

一定会很好玩的

Annie and Britta told me to come over and get ready with them for Garrett's wedding.

安妮和布雷塔说让我过来 跟她们一起梳洗打扮好去加瑞特的婚礼

I didn't say no.

我没拒绝

Who says no to something like that?

这种要求谁会拒绝呢

A cold, off-putting incompatible person.

肯定是那种冷酷扫兴不合群的人

The kind of person that turns a sleepover into a stoning.

是那种能把去朋友家过夜变成石刑现场的人

I had rocks, thrown at me.

我真的被人 扔了石头

Biblical, igneous, jagged, hateful, pointy, ninja rocks, and that's not gonna happen again.

圣经中那种炽热粗糙 可憎尖锐的忍者石 不会再重蹈覆辙了

What have you been up to?

你最近忙什么呢

I think you already asked that.

你好像已经问过一遍了

Did you answer?

你回答了吗

Didn't I?

我没回答吗

I think I did. - I don't think you did.

我好像说了 -我记得你好像没说

Well, that's not like me.

那不是我的做派啊

Well, maybe you're nervous.

可能你比较紧张吧

No, no.

不紧张啊

Well, why don't we just say that if you did answer, we forgot so we're asking again.

那就当你已经回答过了 我们给忘了吧 我们再问一遍

Oh, I have been working.

我最近在工作And I've been tending to my personal affairs. 而且更加关注自己的个人事务

Mia, I don't know if I mentioned.

我不记得有没有提过米亚

One of my sisters as well, you know, one of them is deceased, and the other is mentally retarded.

她也是我的一个妹妹 另外一个妹妹去世了 还有一个嘛 智力有障碍

Panty raid .

内裤大袭击

When I say drink, you say now.

我说「干了」 你们说「赶紧」

Drink. - Now.

干了 -赶紧

Drink. - Now.

干了 -赶紧

When I say drink, you say now.

我说「干了」 你们说「赶紧」

Drink. - Now.

干了 -赶紧

Drink. - Now.

干了 -赶紧

Hey what are you guys doing?

亲们咱现在还磨蹭什么呢

We gotta go. The wedding starts in like 40 minutes.

我们得走啦 婚礼还有40分钟开始啦

We batted the time.

时间是骗你哒We lied to you cause we knew you'd be late. 怎么样 我们就算到你要迟到

So we lied to you about the time.

所以我们在时间上骗你啦耶耶 Yeah!

You don't need perfect people to make a perfect team.

我们要的并不是完美之人组建多么完美的团队

You need people whose flaws feed into each other.

我们要的是能互补缺点的一群人

It's what do you call it?

就是你说的什么来着

Co-dependence. - Synergy.

依存共生 -协同作用

For instance , there might be something Britta hates doing, but Annie loves doing.

比如说 有些布雷塔讨厌做的事 安妮却喜欢

Or there might be something that Annie hates doing, but she does it anyways, because what she really loves is to feel useful.

又或者有些安妮不喜欢做的事 但她却一直在做因为她真正喜欢的其实是感觉自己很有用

You literally just defined co-dependence.

你刚好解释了依存共生的含义

Here's to synergy.

敬「协同作用」

Oh, look at you.

真有默契

You little helper.

好帮手

Okay, do you Garrett take Jack Nicholson to be your lawfully wedded wife?

好了 加瑞特 你愿意 娶杰克·尼科尔森做你的合法妻子吗

I do.

我愿意

I do, Johnny.

我愿意 强尼

We invented a new game.

我们发明了一个新游戏

Celebrity Garrett Marriage.

「名人与加瑞特结婚大作战」

Christian Slater to be your lawfully wedded wife.

娶克里斯蒂安·斯莱特做你的合法妻子

I do.

我愿意

I do.

我愿意

There's only Nicholson.

只有尼科尔森好吗

Yeah, well, listen to him.

来听他说嘛

We were genius to pad the time margin .

我们真是填补时间空白的天才

Because now we have, like, three more hours to play the game.

因为我们又多出来三个小时来玩这个游戏

Okay. Do you, Garrett, take Aubrey Plaza to be your wife?

好 加瑞特 你愿意 娶奥布瑞·普拉扎为妻吗

I do.

我愿意

I do.

我愿意

Wait.

等等

What do you mean, three more hours?

你说又多了三个小时是什么意思

How is that even possible?

怎么可能

What, what time is the wedding?

等等 婚礼是几点来着

Wait, what time is it now?

现在几点啦

We're late.

我们迟到啦

We're late.

我们迟到啦

Gather everyone to the car.

所有人到车里集合

What? - Yeah.

怎么回事 -对

We'll drive together.

我们一起开车去

We are not driving together.

我们才不一起开车去

It's already been settled.

我什么都安排好啦

Nothing was settled.

哪有什么安排好

What?

搞什么

They left me home alone.

他们留人家一个人在这里啦

I'm home alone.

人家一个人在家

Well, not really.

也不算啦

What the hell you doing?

你还在这里搞什么鬼

C'mon, let's go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

快点 快点走走走走走

Okay. - Geez.

好呀好呀 -苍天

Abed, you too.

阿布蒂 你也快出来

Come on.

快点啊

Oh, yeah.

哦 好

We are here to witness the union of Garrett and Stacy in the eyes of, well in the eyes of whatever power you choose.

我们在此见证加瑞特和史黛西的结合 以...那个以你们随便选的哪种力量的眼睛来见证

Personally, I find the notion of choosing to be needlessly limited .

我个人认为选哪种信仰这事儿吧 没有什么限制的必要What if I'm capable of total contradiction ? 如果我能够消化所有的信仰矛盾呢

What if science and religion were mine to wield as I choose?

如果我能够完美支配我所选的 科学和宗教呢

What if I'm God?

如果我就是上帝呢

What if I'm God?

如果我就是上帝呢

It is likely that I am not, but I think it's totally out of line to take that possibility off of the table.

我很有可能并非上帝 但是 我觉得这种可能性如果不提一下显然是说不过去的

Now, I understand that vows have been written.

现在 你们的誓言都已经写好了对吧

Stacy, when I first saw you, looking at you made me feel good.

史黛西 当我第一次看到你 注视着你 让我飘飘欲仙

Touching you, felt better and knowing you made me realize that without you, I, I am incomplete.

抚摸着你 更让我欲仙欲死 了解你 让我意识到没了你 我就不完整了

I know I look pretty complete.

虽然我知道我看上去相当完整健全

Somebody over there laughed at that the wrong way.

某人嘲笑的点错了好不好

You are my body and my soul.

你就是我的身体 我的心灵

You are my favorite video game.

你就是我最喜欢的电子游戏

Yes. Come on.

赶上了 快来

Guys, guys guys.

亲们快快快

Everybody's looking at us.

所有人都在看着我们

Your SHH was louder than what I said.

你嘘的声音比我说话声还大

Welcome!

欢迎

Everyone back there, you're welcome.

后面的朋友 欢迎你们的光临

Please join us.

快来加入我们吧

Any of those people could be God.

他们任何人都有可能是上帝呢

Okay. Over there.

好 快过去

Yes.

好了

Garrett, since we met you have felt so familiar .

加瑞特 自从你我相遇 你给我感觉是那样熟悉

I love making sandwiches with you.

我喜欢跟你一起做三明治

I love folding towels with you.

喜欢跟你一起折毛巾

I love giving you your pain killers, at the end of the day.

还有在晚上给你拿止痛药

Well that, those aren't really vows.

你说的不算什么誓言

That's a list of things you love about me, yeah.

只是把你喜欢我的事情列了个单子好吧

I'm so sorry. - It's okay.

不好意思 -没关系

Garrett, do you take Stacy to be your lawfully wedded wife.

加瑞特 你愿意娶史黛西为你的合法妻子吗

I do.

我愿意

Stacy, do you take Garrett to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold and to honor.

史黛西 你愿意嫁给加瑞特 让他成为你的合法丈夫吗 永世成为夫妻

Yes I do.

是的 我愿意

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. And Mrs. Garrett Lambert, Garrett you may kiss Mrs. Garrett.

先生们 女士们 加瑞·兰伯特夫妇 加瑞特 你可以亲吻加瑞特夫人了

Where the party at?

派对在哪里

Okay, let's endure this.

好啦 我们来忍受一下吧

Are we nailing today, or what?

我们今天过得是不是特别棒啊

Who would have thought Barrett's wedding would be the best day of our lives.

谁能想到巴瑞的婚礼 会成为我们人生中最好玩的一天

Definitely not Garrett, since his name's not Barrett.

肯定不是加瑞特 因为他不叫巴瑞特

Whoopsie. We say a wrong a name.

哎哟喂 说错名字啦

Racist.

你种族歧视

Oh, no. You a racist.

你才种族歧视

That guy's a racist.

这个人是种族歧视

From here to there is racist.

从这个人到这个人 全是种族歧视

Having a good time?

玩得高兴吗

Oh, yes.

相当的

Are you Garrett's mom?

您是加瑞特的妈妈

I sure am.

当然是啦

I think you guys could maybe take a step back, gain a little perspective , so you don't wreck the whole night for some really wonderful people.

我觉得你们可以后退一步 好好审视 认清大局这样你们就不会破坏我们整个夜晚 影响到那些真正的好客人了

You came to a wedding in the middle of the vows through a bush.

你们是在念婚礼誓词的时候踩过树丛来的

I'm not Dr. Phil, but, I don't want my son to kill himself, so, do what you gotta do!

我不是菲尔医生 但我也不希望我儿子去自杀所以请自觉一下吧

Yeah.

好了

Holy crap.

我了个去

What have we done?

我们都干了些什么啊

Okay, we just got checked.

这下好了 我们被将了一军

And it was pretty deserved.

而且我们活该

But, we're not just gonna stand here and lick our wounds either.

但我们也不会傻站在这里黯然舔舐伤口

Jeff is right.

杰夫说的没错

And that chipper passive aggressive lady, she's right, too.

那个絮絮叨叨 笑里藏刀的女士说的也没错

So, let's spread out and...

所以咱们就此散开

Be the best wedding guests, anyone has ever seen!

成为史上最棒的婚礼嘉宾

Yes. - Yeah.

没错 -好

I'm not gonna over think it, I'm just gonna try it.

想都不想 直接行动

Okay. - Yes. Yes.

好 -好好

Mazeltov.

万岁

So, a stranger walked over to our very proud group and smashed our pride into pieces with a hammer , which definitely felt like a disaster .

一个陌生人走到我们这个骄傲的小组面前 把我们的自尊碾碎成渣渣 感觉真是场悲剧啊

Then, I started to pick up the pieces of our pride, and weirdly enough, the first piece I picked up was my own pride, all of it.

然后我开始慢慢拾捡我们的尊严碎片 奇怪的是我拾起的第一片就是我自己的 全找回来了

It's almost like groups and people in groups, can never be complete at the same time.

感觉就好像团队整体和团队成员两者之间 是永远无法同时获得完整的

Does that make any sense?

说得通吗

No?

不懂吗

Well, that's your problem.

那就是你的问题了

I love you, Abed.

我爱你 阿布蒂Do I know how to be a good wedding guest? 我知道如何成为一个好的婚礼嘉宾吗

Yes, I do.

我当然知道

A little too well, that's the problem.

问题是 我知道得太多了

My name is Elroy Patashnik, I was addicted to encouraging white people.

我叫埃尔罗伊·珀塔斯奈克 我染上了给白人加油打气的瘾

All right!

好吧Now there's a man who knows his meatballs. 你可真懂怎么盛肉丸

Thank you. - It started as simple survival .

谢谢 -一开始只是为了生存

The tech industry in the 90s, this face, this voice, they're either gonna help you or hold you back.

我一个黑人 在90年代的科技行业里打拼 白人们要么会帮你 那么就排挤你

So, you tap the gas, because well, why tap the brake ?

所以就给他们鼓鼓劲呗 何必反着来Oh, you know, you know what you're doing. 你真懂行 你太懂行了

This man knows exactly what he's doing.

没人比他更懂行了

I learned the cheat code .

我掌握了骗人的秘诀

White people like encouragement.

白人喜欢听好话

It really doesn't matter what for.

才不管说的是什么呢

Now, that's a container for liquid .

这才是装酒的杯子嘛

I never felt like a sellout.

我没有背叛过谁

I never laugh at anything unfunny, never said anything untrue.

从不假笑 从不说假话

The thing is, and this will sound racist, white people are very discouraged, and very discouraging to each other.

这话听着可能带点种族歧视 白人不仅自己垂头丧气 还非常喜欢互相吐槽

Sweetie, you, you're getting meatball juice everywhere but your plate .

亲爱的 你把肉酱弄得到处都是 可就没放进盘子里

I think I'm going better than you are, with your asparagus.

总比你弄的芦笋好多了Oh, now that's the way to handle meatballs. 这样盛肉丸就对了

And look at you.

还有你啊

Working that asparagus.

芦笋夹得真好呢

So, the day you start telling them, hey, just do what you're doing!

所以一旦你跟他们说 你现在做得就很好

I love you. - I love you.

我爱你 -我也爱你

You feel like a superhero.

你就成了大英雄

But, what's the danger?

危险是什么呢

Why'd I stop?

我为什么金盆洗手了

You know, same as anything else that makes you feel good.

就像其他那些能让你感到开心的事一样

If you don't put a lid on it.

如果不见好就收

* Oh, look at these pants . *

*看这裤子啊*

* He should keep on wearing *

*就一直穿着吧*

* keep on wearing his pants *

*一直穿着吧*

There's no lid.

就收不住了

Stacy has a 90 year old Meemaw here.

今天史黛西九十岁的姑婆也来了

I pushed her around the dance floor.

我把她推到舞池附近了

I think she liked it.

我觉得她挺喜欢的

No, that's Polly.

不 那是波丽

No, Great Aunt Polly is Garrett's side.

不 波丽姨婆是加瑞特家的

I haven't met her.

我还没见过她

Oh my God, do you think she saw me pushing Meemaw, and now she's wondering what's wrong with her?

天啊 她不会是看到我推了姑婆 所以觉得我这个人是不是有毛病

I'll be right back.

我马上回来

Annie, the world will still need you after you finish your cake.

安妮 等你吃完蛋糕 世界还是依然会需要你的

Am I that bad?

我是不是很坏

We have the same dragon .

我们心里住着同一条恶龙

Eventually you will slay it, or train it, or dissolve in its stomach .

到头来 你要么杀了它 要么驯服它 或者将其溶解在胃里

Its name is Helping Others.

它的名字就叫做「助人为乐」

If I train it, can I give it a cooler name?

如果驯服了它 能给它起个更炫酷的名字吗

If you train it, you can do anything you want.

驯服了它 你想做什么都可以了

If you slay it, I don't know.

杀了它的话 我就不知道了

I guess you get a new dragon named Yourself.

估计一条叫「以我为尊」的龙就会出现了吧

And then you'd be Jeff Winger.

你就成了杰夫·翁格了

Yeah, that guy needs help!

是啊 那货才是无可救药呢

What would you name your dragon?

你会给自己的龙起什么名

I think we need a list of dragon names.

我们需要一长串的龙名

Yeah! - And then we need to get you away from Jeff.

对 -然后我们得帮你摆脱杰夫

Is what I wanted to say, but how is that my business?

这才是我想说的 但我干嘛多管闲事

You don't show these to people when you finish them?

拍完后你不会放给别人看吧

No. - Okay, good.

不会 -太好了

So then why do you make them, again?

那你为什么拍呢

It relaxes me.

这让我感到轻松

It's like knitting with less discipline .

就像织毛衣一样 但没那么多规矩

Princess Firebreath.

喷火公主

Sir Pent.

幽禁爵士

Doctor Rachel Spinetail.

瑞秋·针尾雀博士

Holly Hotbreath.

荷莉·灼热吐息

Jimmy Talon.

龙爪吉米[吉米·法伦谐音]

Christian Scale .

克里斯蒂安鳞[克里斯蒂安·贝尔谐音]I got into a bit of a celebrity pun barrel here. 这里我用了几个名人名字的谐音

Carson Scaley.

龙甲卡森[卡森·戴利谐音]

Jude Claw .

裘德爪[裘德·洛谐音]

Ariana Puffington.

阿里安娜·大冒险[阿里安娜·赫芬顿谐音]

Are these your biggest ice cubes?

这是你们最大的冰块了吗

No, you're boisterous!

你才放肆

Where's my brother!?

我弟弟呢

I've gotta thing to say about my friend Garrett!

关于我朋友加瑞特 我有话要说

There has been a plot twist in the story of our comeback as wedding guests.

我们重新成为婚礼嘉宾后 剧情出现了转折

Garrett's older brother Bones has relapsed during his weekend pass and will be unable to do the best man toast .

加瑞特的哥哥伯恩斯 在这个周末又犯病了 因此无法做伴郎致辞了

You got him?

扶稳了

So, I took Garrett's mom's side and told her after our behavior today, it was the least I could do for them.

所以我找到加瑞特的妈妈 告诉她 由于我们今天的所作所为 这是我所能做的最起码的补偿了

And I'm not gonna Winger speech it, this is a thing of substance .

我不会像以前那样做翁格洗脑演讲 这次会有相当实在的内容

We pooled all the inside info based on all the mingling, and this toast is rocket fueled selflessness.

我们汇集了在场所有人的内部消息 我的致辞将是一枚饱含着无私精神的火箭

And this wedding is gonna regret the day it thought we'd make it about us.

如果你们觉得这场婚礼又是我们的 一次自我展示秀 就大错特错了

Because we're about to be the first guests in history to out-toast the entire wedding party.

因为我们将成为史上第一队 把致辞说得震惊全场的婚礼嘉宾

God, I love my job!

天啊 我爱死我的工作了

Wait, this isn't my job.

等等 这不是我的工作

God, I love myself!

天啊 我爱死我自己了

That was Stacy's first time!

那是史黛西的 第一次

But it's not gonna be her last time, right Garrett?

但不会是最后一次 对吧 加瑞特

So many classic toast errors.

好多典型致辞失误啊

A fire hydrant could follow this.

赶紧给她灭灭火吧

I love you so much, and please, keep painting.

我非常爱你 一定不要放弃画画

Don't let Garrett, don't paint.

别因为加瑞特就不再画画了

Don't let Garrett keep you from painting.

体的; 别让加瑞特阻止你画画

Okay, I'm done.

我说完了

Okay, Stacy's friend Andi, everybody.

史黛西的朋友安迪 大家给她送上掌声

Next up we have a replacement best man, Garrett's friend from Greendale College, Jeffrey Winger.

接下来上场的是替补伴郎 加瑞特在格林德尔的朋友 杰夫瑞·翁格

There's a lot of things I can say about this couple.

关于这对新人我有很多话可以说

They're both in my class at Greendale, and like all my students, I give them till about June.

他们都是我在格林德尔的学生 像其他学生一样上到六月就分了

No, you guys'll be fine forever, as long as Stacy never lets Andi babysit.

不会啦 你俩一定会白头偕老的 只要史黛西别让安迪帮忙看小孩

Or go near a child.

也别让她靠近小孩子Or be in the same town as a pair of scissors . 或是同住在一个城镇互相伤害

This girl's a wreck.

这姑娘就是个悲剧

He's being too mean.

他太刻薄了

No, he's reading the room.

不 他把握住了全场的氛围

Andi was a bummer, they needed this.

安迪是扫把星 大家都想看她笑话

Life's about two people merging their lives, but that means two families are leaving here tonight as one.

生活就是两个人的生命交织到一起 这也意味着今晚两家人就要成为一家人了

That's a big deal .

这可是大事

Now my friends and I came here tonight as outsiders, but thanks to some good advice, we spent the night learning about these two clans of outsiders.

我和我的朋友今晚虽是局外人 但多亏了某人的善意提醒 我们得以了解这两个并无亲缘的家族

We learned that Garrett's uncle Tony is a photographer.

我们了解到加瑞特的叔叔托尼是摄影师

But Uncle Tony, did you know that Stacy's friend Lawrence makes and sells frames?

但是托尼叔叔 你知不知道史黛西的朋友劳伦斯是制售相框的

Yeah, look each other up, get some business going.

你们该互相了解了解 谈谈生意

Oh, and Garrett's neighbor Dawn loves vintage cars.

还有 加瑞特的邻居道恩喜欢古董车

Stacy's chiropractor Susan brought her dad, and guess what?

史黛西的按摩师苏珊是跟她父亲一起来的 你猜怎么着

Her dad worked in an automobile factory in the 60s.

她父亲上世纪60年代在汽车制造厂上班

Yeah, I know, these are the kind of things you learn being the biggest jerks at a wedding.

我知道 只有婚礼上的大恶人 才能了解这样的八卦

Here's another golden nugget in the gravel.

我还有一个猛料要爆

Some of you have worked the dance floor with Garrett's divine Great Aunt Polly, 90 years young.

你们中有人已经和加瑞特的 美丽姨婆 波丽跳过舞了吧 老太太芳龄九十

And some of you chatted with Stacy's Meemaw, also 90 years young.

而你们也有人和史黛西的姑婆聊过天 老太太也正值九十妙龄

Now, I don't know if they've even met before tonight, but we did learn that both of them were born in the same town.

我不知道今晚之前她们两位是否见过 但我们知道的是 两位都出生在同一座城市

Sheridan, Wyoming.

怀俄明州的谢里登

Now Garrett and Stacy, would you mind getting them both out here?

加瑞特 史黛西 你们把两位老人家请出来吧

All right. Yeah!

很好 美得很

I know Aunt Polly's here.

我知道波丽姨婆在这里

Isn't she beautiful?

她多美啊

Okay. Who has got eyes on Meemaw?

很好 有谁看见姑婆啦

This is Meemaw.

她就是姑婆

Oh, this is Meemaw!

这就是姑婆啊

Okay, I feel like an idiot.

我感觉真是冒傻气

I'm so, so sorry.

真是不好意思

Garrett, where's Aunt Polly?

加瑞特 波丽姨婆在哪呢

Okay.

好吧

I, now I don't feel as stupid because either someone here is lying, or this family's a lot closer than we thought.

这个我有点糊涂了 是有人说谎了呢 还是两家人比我想象的还亲啊

And now, this is a man that knows how to marry his cousin.

瞧瞧这个人 有情人终成兄妹啊

None of this would have happened if I wasn't always trying to help.

要不是我总是这么心肠过热 也就不会有这么一出了

Actually, none of this would have happened if I hadn't tried helping you with your helpfulness.

其实要不是我这么热心 帮你解决心肠太热的问题也就不会有这样的事了

Oh, don't torture yourself with that logic .

别拿这一套折磨自己了

None of us would have met if Hitler hadn't been born.

要是希特勒没出生 我们也不会见面了

Also none of Britta's arguments would have a default analogy.

这样布雷塔的论点里也不会自带糟心比喻了

Excuse me?

你说什么

He's saying you go to the Hitler well a lot.

他是说你开口闭口希特勒

What are you, Hitler, Hitler?

你是希特勒吗 你个希特勒

Okay, Britta, we're all the worst right now, take a day off.

好了布雷塔 今天我们都是烂人 你今天省省口舌吧

I did.

我省了啊

Between us ruining the ceremony and ruining the reception when we were all just individual people, I wasn't the worst.

今天我们联手毁了结婚典礼 结果分开后又各自搅了人家的招待喜宴 我可算不上是最烂的

I'm only the worst with you guys.

我和你们在一起的时候才最不上道

Well, me too. - Me too.

我也是 -我也是

I was a good dean before you guys.

我没遇见你们的时候可是个好院长

You can't disprove it.

有本事你们反驳啊

I relapsed because of you guys.

我被你们害得旧病复发了

What? - Oh it's not a big deal.

什么 -不是什么大病

White people problems.

关于白人的二三事

I like this group.

我喜欢你们这群人

I'm at my best when I'm with you guys.

我和你们在一起时状态最好了

Well, that clinches it.

那就都说明白了

Separate cabs.

各自打车

Separate cabs.

各自打车

Separate cabs.

各自打车

For those still with us, we won't be cutting the cake or dancing.

还在这里的各位 我们不会切蛋糕跳舞了

And I believe there was a guy in a Homer Simpson costume that was gonna surprise me.

我知道还有一个COS辛普森的家伙 本来会给我个惊喜

That won't be necessary!

也用不着了

Drive safe, and thank you for coming.

安全驾驶 多谢光临

What are you going to do? - Chang!

你打算干什么去 -昌

We're going home.

服装; 各回各家

Are you gonna stay married ? - Chang!

那这婚还结吗 -昌

We consulted with a lawyer, and it is legal in this state to marry your cousin.

我们咨询过律师了 本州和表亲结婚是合法的

But after talking to our family, we feel an annulment is warranted.

但是和家里人谈过之后 我们觉得婚约必须得废除

What no, screw that.

啥 不行 搞什么鬼

Chang. No.

昌 别

Chang, get back here.

昌 给我回来

Hey, screw you guys.

你们死一边去

No, this family is so screwed up, you thought you were two different families.

你们两家太拧巴了 你们以为你们是两家人

Now that you know you're not, you can't wait to leave, and you want this guy to do what?

结果成了一家人 等不及想走了 但你们想让他怎么办

Forget he's in love?

忘了他的爱吗

For you?

就为了你们

You want him to take one for this crappy team?

你们想让他就为了你们认命吗

Let him finish.

让他把话说完

They were letting me finish, sir.

没人打断我 先生

I know, I was being sarcastic.

我知道 我讽刺你呢

Okay, you know?

你们知道吗Garrett, who loves you here more than Stacy?加瑞特 有谁比史黛西更爱你

Nobody.

没有人

Stacy, is it your fault Garrett's your cousin?

史黛西 加瑞特是你的表哥能怨你吗

Is anyone here going to make less fun of these two or be better friends to them no matter what they do?

在座各位有谁打算继续破坏他们的心情 而不是无条件支持他们的决定

No. - No.

没人 -没人

It's you against the world, and you will not win.

你一个人单挑世界 是赢不了的

But, you get to make your moves.

但是你的路 你自己来走

Not them.

别人替不了

Stacy, will you be my legally incestuous wife?

史黛西 你愿意成为我的合法近亲妻子吗

Yes.

愿意

Everyone stay and eat cake, or go to hell.

大家都留下来吃蛋糕 想走的都去死吧

This is about me.

我成功抢戏啦

I didn't think I could do it, but I did.

我也没想到我能成功 但我成功了

Smile. Smile.

笑一个 笑一个

Garrett, look up.

加瑞特 朝这儿看

So much Jimming.

调戏镜头过份了啊

Wow, what an episode of Community .

动，拧; 这集「废柴联盟」多精彩啊

Hi, I'm Briggs Hatton credited author of this weeks episode.

大家好 我是本集责任编剧布里格斯·哈顿

You might have noticed an emphasis on the topic of incest, well that's no accident .

各位也许注意到本集特别强调了乱伦的话题 这并非意外

For the past two years, when not serving as writer 's assistant on Community, I've been researching incest on the internet.

两年来 在担任「废柴联盟」编剧助理之余 我也在网上研究乱伦的话题

What I found, surprised me.

我的发现令我震惊不已

Did you know that first cousins can have children without great risk of birth defect or genetic disease ?

你们知不知道表亲繁育的后代 先天残疾或罹患遗传病的风险并不是非常高

That's a quote directly from the New York Times, April 4, 2002.

这个结论直接引用自 2002年4月4日的「纽约时报」

But despite this scientific fact, State Laws on incest remain inconsistent and woefully outdated.

但尽管得出了这一科学事实 各州近亲结婚的法律仍混乱不一 老旧过时

I mean I, I can make love to my cousin in Nebraska, but if I take her on a date in South Dakota, I'm looking at 15 years prison time.

我可以在内布拉斯加州和我表妹爱爱 但如果我带着她去南达科他州 我就有可能坐15年牢

I told the Community writers, attention must be paid.

我告诉过「废柴联盟」的编剧们 这个话题值得关注

They said they'd allow me to address it on one condition .

他们说想写这个话题 我必须答应一个条件

At the end of the episode, I must appear and identify myself as a writer.

在这集结尾 我必须作为本集责任编剧亲自出镜

Look, I'm not trying to tell you how to feel about incest, I'm just letting you know, there's more to it than you've been told.

我不是在教育各位该怎么看待近亲结婚 我只是想告诉各位 这个话题还有许多不为人知的深刻内容

I'm Briggs Hatton, and I wrote the Community Season Six, Incest Episode.

我是布里格斯·哈顿 「废柴联盟」第六季乱伦集的编剧 就是我

Good night.

晚安

Did you get any of that?

你看懂了没