S06E02 — Chomsky, come here.

Chomsky, come here.

乔姆斯基 出来

Come here, Chomsky.

出来 乔姆斯基

Abed, I'm really sorry.

阿布蒂 太对不起了

I told you cats don't like me.

我告诉你了 猫都不喜欢我

They consider me a competitor because of my natural stealth and ambivalence.

它们视我为竞争者 因为我骨子里的鬼祟与矛盾

Oh, did she get high again and forget she doesn't wear contacts?

她是又抽嗨了忘了自己没戴隐形眼镜吗

Before Britta moved her cats into our apartment , she wanted to introduce them to us on neutral ground.

布雷塔希望在携猫搬进我们公寓之前 先在中立地点介绍我们互相认识一下

One of them scratched Abed and ran under the couch.

其中一只猫挠了阿布蒂 躲沙发下面去了

Oh, I'll get it. Cats love me.

我来 猫咪可喜欢我了

What? Are you sure?

什么 真的吗

Hello there.

亲爱的

Well, she is. Is it a he or a she? - He.

她...是男孩还是女孩 -男孩

Well, he's really got his teeth in my flesh right now.

他的牙切切实实咬进我肉里了

Okay, he's touching bone.

好的 啃到骨头了

I'm just waiting for him to finish up.

我等他自己结束吧

Not a lot I can do at this point.

反正现在我也无能为力

This was a pretty big mistake.

这真是大错特错

Okay. This is done.

好了 啃完了

See you tomorrow.

明天见

I'm pretty embarrassed about this.

此事真是让我万分尴尬

Chomsky.

乔姆斯基

I didn't know Britta was moving in with Annie and Abed.

我不知道布雷塔要搬去安妮和阿布蒂家啊

That's-. - Expository?

这... -需要解释

Yeah, Britta's fallen on hard times and our apartment is the cheapest game in town.

好的 布雷塔最近生活拮据 我们公寓是市里最便宜的地儿

Abed, it's a little embarrassing when you put it that way.

阿布蒂 你这么说让我有点尴尬

Britta's a rich genius with super powers and she's gonna live on our sofa for no reason .

布雷塔是有超能力的天才富豪 她将下榻我们家沙发 无需任何理由

Oh, no.

不要啊

Dinosaurs. My tax documents.

有恐龙 我的报税文件

Facts about Native Americans.

美洲原住民的真实揭秘

Just kidding.

开玩笑的

Guess what I just purchased for the school from a local manufacturer , Greendale's first virtual reality operating system .

猜猜我在本地制造商那里 为本校采购了什么格林德尔首台虚拟实境操作系统

Did Greendale need a virtual reality system?

格林德尔需要虚拟实境系统吗

Like a hole in the head.

想得要死[头上开洞]

A hole in the head is something that you don't need.

这句话的意思是「完全不需要」

She said through a huge hole in her head.

说这话的人脑洞真大哼

Didn't VR go out in the 90s?

虚拟实境不是90年代就过时了吗

The last people I saw using it were in the Honeycomb Hideout.

我最后看到是有人用它玩「蜂巢内战」

We mock what we don't understand.

人会嘲笑自己不懂的事

We also mock what's silly. - Jeffrey.

人也会嘲笑蠢事 -杰夫瑞

Abed, you're more machine than man.

阿布蒂 比起人类 你更像机器一点

You wanna give me a hand setting up the equipment after lunch?

午饭后你愿不愿意来帮我安装一下设备

We're all going to help Britta move into our place today.

今天我们要帮布雷塔搬到我们家来

Jeffrey?

杰夫瑞

Britta, something's come up. I'd love to.

布雷塔 有事去不了 乐意之极

Oh, yeah, yeah, at least you don't have to bust out your usual excuse.

行吧 至少你没有搬出你的老借口

You don't know for sure that I'm not a veteran , and nobody can say for sure that today isn't Veteran's Day.

你无法确定我不是老兵 也没人敢说今天不是老兵日

Hi. I got bit by a cat.

你好 我被猫咬了

Chang, we know.

昌 我们知道

Why are you guys and all these books in the nurse 's office?

你们在医务室干嘛 为什么有这么多书

Dean, where did you get this, and for how much of the school's money?

院长 你是从哪买的这个 花了学校多少钱

Relax , my little bean countess.

放松 我的账房小姐

Don't worry about it.

这事儿您就别操心了

You pay me to worry about that.

你雇我就是用来操心这种事的

Oh, and how much do I pay you?

我花了多少钱雇你来的

That's you. It was only $5000. - What?

是你操心的事 这仅需五千块 -什么

Frankie, jack me up.

弗兰 给我插上

I would like to see this company's website.

我想看看这个公司的网站

Can I use your computer?

能用下你电脑吗

Sure.

当然

Have fun in the Stone Age while I step into the third dean-mension.

祝你在石器时代用的开心 而我要踏入 第三院长维

Width ?

宽度多少

Read the instructions, analog man.

读说明书 仿真人

When entering virtual reality, you should calibrate the system by looking at your own hands, then turning them over and looking at the backs of them with a sense of wonder .

当进入虚拟实境时 你应该通过查看自己的双手并反转双手 查看手背来校正系统 同时你会有种奇妙的感觉

Roger that.

收到

To the Virtue Good 6500.

进入「好真实6500」

Initiate calibration.

开始校正

It's incredible .

不可思议啊

I can see all around.

四周都能看到

I gotta take a closer look at these structures, they're!

我要到近处好好瞅瞅这些建筑

I'm walking!

我走了

I am walking.

我走了

My God.

天啊

I know what this is.

我知道这是什么

I set the time zone .

我设置了时区

I set the time zone.

我设置了时区

And my phone does that automatically.

我手机都可以自动设置

I'm gonna see if I can make the font bigger.

我要试试能不能把字体变大

The font is larger.

字体大了

And Jesus wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer .

耶稣已泣 因为再无世界可征服

Thank you, guys, again, so much.

还要再谢谢你们 太感谢了

I know that I already owe you you money but I want you to know that I got a new bartending job with better hours and free corn nuts which I feel like have a small but significant resale value .

我知道已经欠你们钱了 但我想告诉你们 我又找了份酒保工作 时薪更多 还有免费的烤玉米粒 我感觉其转售价值好歹聊胜于无

I feel like everybody's talking about that haircut I gave Vicki, so-.

我觉得大家都在讨论 我给薇琪新剪的发型 所以...

Oh, Britta.

布雷塔

Can I - It's okay.

我能不能... -没事的

Do I do this too? Okay.

我也要抱吗 好吧

This is going to be good for all of us, right?

大家都会好起来的

It's like a fresh start.

就像是一个全新的开始

Oh, did you guys get a new couch?

你们买了个新沙发吗

We got it for you.

我们为你买的

It has a pull-out.

是张沙发床

You guys.

爱死你们了

I wanted a Murphy bed for shenanigans but the cost to shenanigan ratio was too high.

我本来想买张壁床方便恶作剧 但这样恶作剧的成本太高了

How did you guys afford this?

你们怎么买得起这个

Don't worry.

别担心

We got a good deal .

我们淘到了便宜货For pick up, Perry. Why's my name on here? 待取 派利 为什么上面有我的名字

Because we got it for you.

因为这是我们给你买的

And we told the sales guy that.

我们也这么告诉了售货员

So. So he put your friend's name on the delivery slip ?

所以...他把朋友的名字写在送货单上

That seems weird, right?

挺奇怪的 对吧

Roommate movie night!

新室友的电影之夜

Roommate movie night, yay!

新室友的电影之夜 耶

Portuguese Gremlins.

葡萄牙版「小魔怪」

Portuguese Gremlins, ooh.

葡萄牙版「小魔怪」 嗷呜

It's Portugal's answer to Gremlins if Gremlins' question was how can you totally rip us off without spending any money and having watched us maybe twice?

本片算是葡萄牙对小魔怪提出的 「你们怎么能一分钱都不花地剽窃我们 没准还连看两遍电影」这一问题的回答

That's what the Portuguese Gremlins say, right?

葡萄牙小魔怪是这样嚎的 对吗

It's close enough.

很贴近了

I did it.

我成功了

It's 2: 39.

现在是2点39分

That was the time when you started setting the time.

这是你开始设置时间的时间

It's 20 minutes later now.

现在都过了20分钟了

The power.

这种力量

The facility .

这种技术

Jesus wept.

耶稣已...

Stop saying Jesus wept.

别再说「耶稣已泣」了

Dean, here's something fun you might want to try.

院长 你可能想试试这个有趣的功能

Let's see if we can find the serial number to this system.

看看你能不能找到这个系统的序列号

Oh, that could be fun.

听着挺有趣的

So go to Settings.

先找到「设置」

Is settings the volcano or the cobbler's workshop ?

「设置」是在火山那儿还是鞋匠的工作室

It's a monastery.

那是个寺院

I feel the power.

我感觉到了力量

Welcome to Settings.

欢迎进入「设置」

Your Majesty, the filing tabs.

陛下 文件都在这儿了You're looking for one called purchase info. 你要找的是写着购物信息的那个

These cabinets would never be this easy to climb in real life.

现实生活中这些柜子永远不可能这么好爬

This is the future of scrolling.

这才是电脑滚动条的未来

My world is officially boundless.

我的世界从此广阔无边

I'm here.

我找到了

Inside that drawer should be a file called serial number.

那抽屉里应该有个叫「序列号」的文档

I've got it!

拿到了

All right.

好的

Now you just have to print that file out.

现在你只需要将它打印出来就好

You can do that by dragging it to the accessories and peripherals castle, and planting it in the printer driver.

你可以把它拖到与设备相连的附属城堡里 然后把文件种在打印装置里

What's so funny?

什么这么好笑

I mean , besides everything?

虽然这一切挺很可笑的

I have no intention of returning this system.

我没有任何退还这套系统的打算

On the contrary , I intend to keep it.

恰恰相反 我要留下它

Dear God.

天啊

Delete !

删除

One file selected.

一份文件已选中

Hold on.

等等

File sorted. - What? Oh come on.

文件已排序 -啥呀 搞啥啊

Come here you little.

快过来 小家伙

File deleted.

文件已删除

Jesus wept!

耶稣已泣

He deleted the serial number, Jeff, help me out here.

他删掉了序列号 杰夫 帮帮我

I don't get paid enough for this.

就我那么点工资我才不干

How much do you think you're going to get paid if I have to find five grand in the budget ?

你觉得如果我被迫从预算里抠出五千块来 你的 工资还能剩多少

You're not the new Annie.

你不是新安妮

You're the new Abed.

你是新阿布蒂

I don't know what that means yet.

不懂你什么意思

So are the gremlins supposed to be the good guys in this version ?

所以这个版本里小魔怪是好人吗

The blue ones are. The green ones are bad and the red ones are kind of like isolationists.

蓝色的是好的 绿的可坏了 红色的差不多自管自的

It's a metaphor for World War II.

这是对二战的影射

Alma, I will be right back, I left something in my car.

我去去就回 有东西忘在车里了

Hi, yes, I picked up a sofa from your store, recently .

你好 我最近在您这儿买了张沙发

The last name is Perry.

我姓派利

What?

什么

Are you strong or angry?

你是力气大还是生气了

My parents?

我父母买的

My parents bought that couch?

沙发竟然是我父母买的

Explain yourselves!

给我解释清楚

Well, are we, okay.

我们...好吧

They kind of reached out to us on Facebook.

他们算是通过脸书联系上我们的

What? You know I don't talk to them.

什么 你知道我不理他们的

Well, yeah. That's why they talk to us.

是啊 所以他们才联系我们

They knew you wouldn't let them help you, at least not directly .

他们知道你不会让他们帮你

Oh my God. Oh my God.

天啊 天啊

You needed our help, but we needed their help to help you.

你需要我们帮助 我们则需要他们帮助

That's why we were able to get you such a good deal on the rent .

这也是为什么你的房租那么便宜

They're supplementing my rent too?

他们还补贴我的房租

You make them sound like monsters, but they're actually really nice.

你说得好像他们跟洪水猛兽似的 但事实上他们人很好

Well, they are! - My parents are horrible people.

就是很好嘛 -我父母差劲得要死

You're being dramatic . - Oh yeah.

你也太小题大做了吧 -没错

That's what people say when they take your soul, and they rip it out of your chest and then shove it in your mouth.

人们会这么说 当他们要取走你的灵魂 他们把它从你胸口拽出来 然后糊在你的脸上

I got bit by a cat.

我被猫咬了

I will create more worlds.

我要创造更多的世界

And those worlds will have worlds.

然后世界里还会有新的世界They're file folders, stop calling them worlds. 就是文件夹而已 别嚎什么世界了好吗

I found an address .

我找到一个地址

Elroy Ptasnik, founder of Virtu Good Technologies.

埃尔罗伊·珀塔斯奈克 好真实科技创始人

All right. I'll go see if I can get the school's money back.

好的 我去看看能不能把学校的钱拿回来

You keep White Morpheus inside the matrix.

你确保白人墨菲斯在矩阵里面呆着

Jeff.

杰夫

Britta. You look distraught.

布雷塔 你看上去心烦意乱的

You have ten seconds to tell me it's not about stupid politics .

给你十秒来告诉我这跟你那些白痴政治无关

I just found out that Annie and Abed have been cheating on me with my parents.

我刚刚发现安妮和阿布蒂 背着我跟我父母联系

They've been sabotaging my life from the shadows by paying off my debts and buying me things.

他们一直在暗中替我还债 给我买东西 以此破坏我的人生

Thank God. - What are you? Thank God?

谢天谢地 -你怎么这样 还谢天谢地

The charade can finally end.

现在终于不需要伪装了

Now you know everything you thought you owed us, you can actually just owe to Deb and George.

现在你知道所有你自以为欠我们的钱 其实都是黛比和乔治的

Deb and George?

黛比和乔治

You know my parents too? Since when?

你也认识我父母 从什么时候开始的I don't know, since thousands of dollars ago? 我不知道 从你欠下好几千块之后

I'm bad with dates.

我不擅长记日子

I remember the New Year's glasses having zeros for eyes.

我记得当年的新年眼镜中间还是两个零呢

And when did Stella get her groove back?

「当老牛碰上嫩草」是哪一年上映的来着

You've all been lying to me for years.

你们这些年来一直都在骗我

What kind of friends are you?

你们到底算哪门子的朋友啊

Poor. We're poor friends.

穷友呗 我们是穷人朋友

And you mooch off us because you're too proud to use your own support system.

而你却跟我们要钱 只因自己太骄傲 不屑于动用你家的财政支持

What kind of friend are you?

你又是算哪门子的朋友

And having met them, what were you rebelling against?

而且在见了他们之后 实在是不能理解你到底在反抗什么

Was it generosity, whimsical game nights, or delicious lobster bacon mashed potatoes?

是反抗他们的慷慨大方 有趣的游戏之夜 还是美味的龙虾培根土豆泥

You ate the potatoes?

你还吃过土豆泥了

You, you don't even eat carbs.

你不是不吃碳水化合物吗

I eat love, Britta.

我吃的是爱 布雷塔

Hot, delicious love that you were willing to wipe your ass with.

火热美味的爱 你曾经不屑一顾的爱

Oh, my God.

我的天哪

I have no friends.

我已经没有朋友了

Can we not be so dramatic about this?

我们能不能别这么小题大做

There are people in this world with serious problems.

这个世界上有真正严重问题的大有人在好吗

Chang, go see the nurse!

昌 去找护士啦

I'm trying.

我正在找啊

Yeah? - Elroy Ptasnik?

找谁 -埃尔罗伊·珀塔斯奈克

Who's asking? - Well, that's always a yes.

你是谁 -看来是了

Nobody ever says, who's asking, to the wrong name.

如果名字不对 没人会回应你是谁

They just say, that's not my name.

他们只会说 我不叫这个名

When my phone rings and I say hello, and they say, is Pablo there?

我的手机有来电时 我会说你好 对方问 巴勃罗在吗

I don't say, who's asking, I say, wrong number.

我不会说你是谁 我会说打错了

You're a clever young man.

你真是个聪明的小伙子

You sold a Virtu Good 6500 to Craig Pelton at Greendale Community College, and we need to return it.

你把「好真实6500」卖给了 格林德尔社区大学的克拉格·派尔顿 我们现在想退货

I'll need the serial number.

我需要产品的序列号

He deleted the serial number because he loves the system.

他把序列号删了因为他太爱这个系统了

So what's the problem?

那么问题是什么

The problem is in order to copy a file, you have to throw a fireball at it, then absorb the fire, then drop the flaming file into a crystal lake, then take out both copies and throw them into the side of a mountain.

问题是里面如果要复制一份文件 还得朝它扔个火球 等它燃起火焰 然后把着火的文件摁进一个水晶湖里 再把两份文件拎出来 扔到山的另一边

Worlds within worlds.

世界里面还有世界

That doesn't mean anything.

那没有任何的意义

I can copy a file by holding my finger down on a phone.

我用手指摁住手机就能复制文件了

Well, so can a monkey.

这事儿猴子也能干Now, you're describing a system for animals. 你刚刚描述的是给动物使用的系统

Terrestrial slobs bound to the earth by their meaty feet.

陆生懒虫被自己肥大的双脚所限制

I designed a system for Gods. - Oh, come on.

我是为神设计的这个系统 -拜托

You know what you've done.

你知道自己造了什么孽

You know how lame virtual reality is.

你也清楚虚拟实境系统有多逊

You know the damage it caused mid-90s cinema.

你知道它给90年代中期电影艺术带来的破坏

I mean, Michael Douglas walking around like a jackass, moving files with a magic glove ?

迈克尔·道格拉斯走路像脑残 还用魔法手套移动文件

Lawnmower Man? Did you see Lawnmower Man?

「天才除草人」 你看过这部电影吧

You bet your sweet ass I saw Lawnmower Man.

我必须看过「天才除草人」啊

I consulted on it.

我是电影顾问

Took Brigitte Nielsen to the premiere.

我还带着布里吉特·尼尔森去的首映

We were building worlds within worlds.

我们是在世界里建造新的世界

And now you're living in homes within campers within parking lots, and using an iPad to clearly design what looks like a ripoff of Angry Birds.

而你现在却住在停车场的野营车里 还用着iPad设计 山寨版的「愤怒的小鸟」

Get out.

滚出去

Get out of my Winnebago!

滚出我的房车

You're not allowed to say that like it's a punishment.

你没有权利这么声色俱厉地说话I know what it's like to lie for a living, Elroy! 我知道生活在谎言中是何感觉 埃尔罗伊

And you should know, it feels better to stop.

你也知道 只有停止撒谎才会感觉好受些

And my feet aren't meaty!

还有我的脚一点儿都不肥

Britta, honey . - An unexpected treat .

布雷塔 亲爱的 -稀客啊

This is a check for all the dirty money you have used to control and monitor me without my consent .

这张支票是用来还你们未经我同意 控制和监视我所花的全部脏钱

But we're not gonna cash this.

我们是不会去兑现的

Well you can't. I postdated it a year.

确实不能 兑现日是一年之后

And in that year, I'm gonna get a new job, new friends, in a new city where you and your spies can never find me.

在这一年里 我会找到新工作 新朋友 住在新的城市 你和你们的那些间谍 永远都不会再找到我

Oh, please. Don't do this.

求你啦 别这么做

What choice do you leave me?

不然你们让我怎么办

Who acts this dishonestly towards their own daughter?

谁会对自己女儿犯下如此不诚实的行径

What choice do you leave us?

那你让我们怎么办嘛

I mean, every time we get too close, you run off.

每次我们一靠近你 你就逃走

We sent you a birthday card to your apartment in New York, and then next week you're setting fire to a Jamba Juice in San Jose.

我们刚给你纽约的公寓寄一张生日贺卡 下一周你就在圣何塞的果汁店放了把火

How long is that gonna stick with me?

这事儿你们还准备纠结多久

Until arson is legal , sweetie, but your father's point is, we've arrived at the closest relationship you can tolerate .

直到纵火是合法的 你父亲想说的是 我们找到了你可以忍受的最亲近的相处模式

We've learned , after a decade , how to love and admire and finance you from afar, through your friends, and the social media .

我们花了好久的时间才学会了 如何远远的爱护欣赏和资助你 通过你的朋友 社交媒体

The Tinder and the like.

「提惹」和点赞

It's called Tumblr, dad.

老爸 那叫「汤不热」

No, I mean Tinder. It's a matchmaking App, and by the way, if you were on Tinder, Your mom and I think you'd be the prettiest.

不 我说的是「提惹」 一个约炮App 顺便说一下 如果你有「提惹」 你妈妈和我都认为你一定是最漂亮的

Absolutely, the boys would be swiping right.

当然了 男孩们肯定都唰唰地往右划Or girls! Whatever makes you happy. - Yes! 女孩也行 你开心就好 -对

Totally. - What has happened to you two?

没错 -你俩这是怎么了

Who are these doddering open-minded geezers?

那对食古不化的老年人去哪儿了

Where are the people who wouldn't let me dress up like Prince for Halloween?

当初不让我在万圣节上 打扮成王子的那俩人去哪儿了

Or told me that the cat ran away because I tried alcohol ?

告诉我猫跑了是因为我试图饮酒

Or had me drug tested when I was 11 because they said I was laughing too much?

还有在我十11岁的时候给我做药检 就因为别人说我笑得太疯狂

We are definitely sorry about all of that stuff .

对这些事情我们深感抱歉

Quite frankly, we don't remember that stuff.

坦白说 这些事我们其实根本不记得了

Oh, it's true.

这倒是真的

Woodstock, oh! - Oh, my God.

伍德斯托克音乐节 -天啊

I remember Woodstock!

我还记得伍德斯托克音乐节

Woodstock was amazing but-- but you have to realize, Britta, that your Woodstock, which was us being bad parents, that has more to do with you.

伍德斯托克真的很精彩 但布雷塔 你要知道 当年我们还是差劲家长时 你的伍德斯托克 就只有你懂而已

So that's what you remember, see?

所以你才会记得 对不对

Where are they?

他们在哪

I'm sorry. - Get out here!

你说什么 -给我出来

Britta, let me explain.

布雷塔 听我解释

We were worried about you, so we just came over.

我们很担心你 所以就过来看看

You can explain to each other in hell .

你们自己互相解释去吧

Friends don't visit each other's parents.

朋友才不会去看彼此的父母

I hope you have a wonderful life.

衷心祝你们生活精彩美满

George, George, yes.

乔治 乔治

Britta, at least take some money and fix your car!

布雷塔 最起码拿点钱修修你的车吧

Or at least get a cab, or there are apps we can call where strangers pick you up.

要不打个车吧 不然可以用App找陌生人开车来接你

I don't want your help.

我不需要你们的帮忙

Stop infantilizing me!

别把我当小孩了

Hey, stop. Stop!

停车 停

Get out of here.

给我下去

Green Machine, nice.

小绿车 不错哇

Here, Greg, here, take some cash.

格雷格 拿着钱

Holy crap!

我勒个去

What's her problem?

她是不是有病啊

She's growing up.

她还在成长

Oh my God.

我的天啊

I put a tilde on this N!

我把波浪符放在N上了

I can do anything.

我无所不能

Any luck?

有进展吗

Ugh, I'm going home.

我要回家了

Oh, and to warn you, he joked about wanting a pee jar earlier and it's gradually becoming less of a joke.

提醒一下 他之前开玩笑说想要个尿壶 后来发现这不仅仅是个玩笑了

Hey, Dean.

院长

I'm coming over and I'm pulling you out of there.

我要过去把你从那里拽出来

I'll bite you. - I'll beat you up.

我咬你哦 -那我就揍扁你

I'll like it and then I'll fire you and then I'll get right back in it.

我喜欢 不过我会炒了你 然后爷还是会再回来的

I'll still get to beat you up.

那我还是会揍扁你

Hold it. Hold it.

且慢

Who is that? I recognize that baritone voice and the scent of Tic Tacs with a tinge of Naugahyde.

谁啊 我听到了一个男中音 还有嘀嗒糖混着一丝瑙加海德革的味道

It's Elroy Patashnik.

是埃尔罗伊·珀塔斯奈克

The architect .

缔造者

Listen, I've come to tell you something very important about this system.

我来告诉你一些对这套系统相当重要的事

It's lame. - What?

它很烂 -啥

I wasted your time with it and 10 crucial years of America's time.

我浪费了你的时间 还有... 美国历史上重要的十年

I'm giving Mr. Williams your refund.

我会把你的退款交给这位威廉姆斯先生

I don't want a refund.

我不想退款

I wanna stay in here forever and you can't stop me.

我想要一直生活在这里 你休想阻止我

Die.

去死

How long has he been in there?

他在里面多久了

Four hours.

四个小时

Oh, I was thinking weeks.

我还以为有好几周了呢

This guy runs your school?

词); 这家伙管理你们学校

To use a phrase I coined in the 90s, I'm going in.

用一句我在90年代说的话 加我一个

You coined that?

那是你创造的吗

Oh yeah, lock and load.

是啊 整装待发

That's mine too.

那也是我说的

All right.

好吧

I'm awake.

我醒了

Oh my God!

天啊

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

对不起对不起 真对不起

What are you doing in my car?

你在我的车里做什么

I didn't have anywhere else to go.

我没地方去了

No where else but my car?

除了我的车以外没地方可去了吗

Do you know how big the planet is?

这个世界很大的你不知道吗

What is going on, Britta?

你究竟怎么了 布雷塔

My friends, they all think my parents are adorable, and they think that I'm the bad guy for hating them, but I have a right to hate them, cuz I had to be there when they sucked.

我的朋友都觉得我父母是好人 因为我讨厌他们我反而成了坏人 但我恨是有理由的 因为他们实在太逊了

Yeah. Jimmy Fallon syndrome. I get it.

这样啊 吉米·法隆综合征 我明白

I had that with my parents, too.

我对我爸妈也是

You did? - Yeah.

是吗 -是的

You know, one of the most unfair lessons we're forced to learn is that our parents are human beings.

知道吗 我们不得不学会的一大不公 就是我们的父母也不过是凡夫俗子

We wanna think of them as Gods or demons, because then that would make us heroes.

我们总把他们想成是神或是魔鬼 然后我们就成了英雄

But give me a break.

可是得了吧

We all suck .

我们都逊爆了

What can I do to help you tonight, Brita?

我能帮你什么 布雷塔How many quarters were in this cup holder? 我杯架里面有多少硬币

The same amount.

原来多少现在还是多少

Oh, yeah.

哦耶

Calibrated. Welcome.

已校准 欢迎

No, go away!

不 走开

Preferences grow.

选择 增高

No, no, no.

不 不 不

Let go of me.

放开我

Do you really want the power of a God?

你真的想拥有神的力量吗

Yes, more than anything.

是的 除此之外别无他想

Should I order dinner, cuz a lot of good delivery places are closing?

我要不要定点外卖 很多外卖店要关门了

I know how you feel.

我了解你的感受

The sadder reality, the less real we want it.

现实愈残酷 我们就越想逃避

I just wanna be a good dean.

我只想成为一个好院长

I can give you a device that will accomplish that.

我可以赠你一件器具帮你完成心愿

You can use this to manipulate worlds.

此物可助你操纵世界

Flick of a wrist .

只要动动手腕

My God, it's incredible!

天啊 太神奇了

Now!

动手

What's happening. No!

怎么了 不

I wanna go back in.

我要回去

I want to be back in there.

让我回去

I want to be-.

我要回去

Here. Here.

这里 这里

Here's your power.

你的力量在这里

Yeah. Now, manipulate worlds.

很好 现在你可以操纵世界了

He'll be back to his old self in an hour.

一小时后他就会恢复了

Great, do you have a way to fix that?

太好了 恢复以后你有办法对付吗

Seriously, though, thank you.

不过说真的 谢谢

Brita, we were so worried.

布雷塔 我们好担心你

What happened to the kids Green Machine?

人家孩子的小绿车呢

What? I, I don't know. I ditched it.

什么 我不知道 我扔了

Where and how long ago?

扔哪儿了 多久前扔的

Okay, assume that's not what's important here.

好吧 这个不重要了

Brita, we-. - It's okay, Dad.

布雷塔 我们...-没事了 爸爸

I have something that I wanna say.

我有话想说

I ran away from home at 17 to become an adult , but maybe all that did was leave a part of me stuck at 17, the part that tends to run away when I am confronted with the truth.

我17岁那年离家出走 希望长大成人 可也许我的一部分也永远留在了17岁 让我每次与真相直面的时候都掉头逃离

The truth is good, Brita. - Mom, shut up!

真相并不坏 布雷塔 -妈 闭嘴

Frankie taught me something important.

弗兰让我明白了一件重要的事

It doesn't matter how mature we are or what resentments we carry.

我们是否成熟 是否愤世嫉俗都不重要

All that matters is that we're all going to die.

完全的; 最重要的是 我们都会死

You have a lovely home.

你们家真漂亮

Thank you. - So, we're really getting our daughter back?

谢谢 -所以我家女儿回心转意了Yeah, but it's not gonna be that big of a deal. 是啊 不过那也不是什么大事

I mean, you guys missed the good years.

你们错过了那些美好岁月

Now, it's just gonna be margaritas, Pottery Barn , fighting our family's tendency toward obesity as we slide into oblivion.

现在只能喝喝酒 买买装饰 对抗家族的肥胖遗传 直到被世人遗忘

First you guys, and then me quickly thereafter .

先是你们 然后很快就会轮到我

Well, I'll drink to that.

为此我先干一杯吧

Oh, Abed.

阿布蒂

Benjamin.

本杰明

I got bit by a cat, Deb.

我被猫咬了 黛比

I'll get the antibiotics.

我去拿点抗生素

Thank you for the refund, Elroy.

谢谢你能退款 埃尔罗伊

No, thank you for one last taste of what it was like when my work was valuable.

不 是我谢谢你 让我最后一次品尝到自己的心血

Oh, it's still valuable.

你的工作还是有意义的

Here, $500 for the taste I got of being powerful .

这是五百块 谢谢你让我尝到强大的滋味

Dean, the school can't afford 500-.

院长 我们学校付不起五百块了

Wait for it.

等等嘛

I have no idea what to do with the rest of my life now.

我不知道下半生该怎么办了

We offer a wide variety of classes.

我们的课程多着呢

And that, my friend, is the Greendale effect.

朋友 这就是格林德尔的力量

I'll never get out of here, will I?

我被永远地困在这儿了 是吧

I haven't met many that do.

反正我是没见过有人能离开

Let's walk arm in arm.

手拉手 走啊走

There are times when change needs to be different, then there's changes that are more the same.

有时候改变让人焕然一新 有时候 改变其实并无改变

But the same changes don't tend to be different than the changes that came before.

但相同的改变并不会 与之前的改变有所不同

If you change everything that's different, sometimes you find out everything's still the same.

如果你改变了所有不同的一切 也许会发现 一切也并没有改变

As for me, I'm just changing everything that's different.

对于我来说 我正在改变一切

Change.

改变

Did you get any of that?

你看懂了吗