S05E02 — Hi everybody. I'm Jeff. Mr. Winger And this is Fundamental of Law.

Hi everybody. I'm Jeff. Mr. Winger And this is Fundamental of Law.

大家好 我是杰夫 翁格先生 这门课是「法律基础」

Any questions?

有问题吗

You, red hair. I'm not gonna learn names.

红头发的 我不记名字

Will there be a syllabus? - "Will there be a syllabus?"

有教学大纲吗 -有教学大纲吗

is good example of a question. Moving on.

这样的问题很好 继续

Ski Cap. - how are we gonna be graded?

帽哥 -判分标准是怎样的

Oh, no spoilers, Ski Cap.

没有剧透哦 帽哥

Maybe we better do names. - Dave.

咱们还是自报名字吧 -戴夫

What percent of our grade will the final be?

期末考试分数占多大比重

come on, guys, percentages, grades, that syllabus thing...

拜托孩子们 比例 评分 大纲什么的

Are we human beings or just question-and- answer machines?

我们是人类 还是问答机器

We're students. And you're a teacher.

我们是学生 你是老师

Yeah. I'm a teacher.

对 我是老师

Did you see that? That teacher just leered at me.

看到没 那个老师用眼神勾搭我

Ew. - Hey, look, It's the star of "Head of the ass."

恶心 -瞧啊 「混蛋之首」的大明星

Shut up, Leonard! Nice earring.

闭嘴 伦纳德 耳环不错

You look like the road manager for the California Raisins.

你活像「加州葡萄干」巡演经纪人

Whoa! What kind of teacher talks to a student like that?

哪个教师跟学生这样说话啊

Right? - Yeah.

对吧 -对哦

Fresh meat, huh? - Yeah, Jeff Winger, Law.

新人吗 -对 杰夫·翁格 教法律

Buzz Hickey, Criminology.

巴兹·汉基 教犯罪学的

You can have that half of the office, but come spring , that corner is stacked to the rafters with fetal pigs.

办公室的一半归你 但到了春天 那个角落会堆满成串的乳猪

I won't be here that long.

我不会待太久的

This is sort of a temporary gig for me.

这份工作是小插曲

I get it.

我懂的

Teaching to make ends meet until a real job comes along,

教书为了糊口 找到正经工作就走人

yeah, me too. - Oh, cool.

时工，临时雇员; 跟我一样 -那挺好

How long have you been... - 15 years.

你教书有... -15年了

15 years and counting.

纪录还在刷新

'"Temporary gig."

还小插曲呢

Oh, I like you.

我喜欢你

Oh, the new table turned out great, Abed.

新桌子原来这么棒啊 阿布蒂

Splendid varnishing.

油漆好亮啊

'"Table mark II"?

马克桌二代

I added that, and a few custom upgrades.

我加的 还做了些定制升级

It's voice activated.

可以语音激活

Table, resume table mode.

桌子 恢复桌子模式

Table, power down.

桌子 关机

Wait! I got a cup on there.

等等 我杯子还在上边呢

Oh, teacher man!

哟 老师好

It's professor Winger! - Mr. Winger.

是翁格教授 -翁格先生

Please don't razz me about being a teacher.

别拿我当老师的事开涮啦

Teaching is the most noble profession in the world.

教师是世界上最高尚的职业

Yeah, tell that to the guy that shares my office.

对 去跟我办公室的同僚说吧

He fixes cuckoo clocks for fun.

他以鼓捣布谷鸟钟为乐

That sounds like Mr. Hickey, my criminology professor.

怎么像是汉基先生 我的犯罪学教授

I certainly hope you'll be a better teacher than him.

真心希望你当老师能比他强

Annie, I don't know law.

安妮 我不懂法律

I wasn't a real lawyer, remember?

我是个冒牌律师 记得吗

I can't just pretend I'm teaching.

我装不了多久的

I'm not Mythbusters.

我不是「流言终结者」

There's a two-day course called "Nicolas Cage: good or bad."

有个两天的课程 叫做「尼古拉斯·凯奇: 好还是坏」

I'm signing up. I've always wanted to know.

我选了 我一直想了解这个

Nicolas Cage is one of pop culture 's greatest mysteries.

尼古拉斯·凯奇是流行文化的最大谜团之一

cultivate); Oh, there's a course on Nicolas Cage, but if you mention Jesus to your science teacher, you get a written warning.

有门课专门讲尼古拉斯·凯奇 而你跟理科老师提耶稣 就会得到书面警告

Well, Jesus wasn't in 70 movies.

耶稣可没演过70部电影

I'm in. Cage class, sounds fun.

我也选 凯奇课 听着不错

Jeff, you don't have time to take a blow-off class.

杰夫 你没时间上这种没用的课

You need to figure out what you're gonna

你得弄清楚要给你的学生

teach your students. - Thanks, annie, for one glorious second, I forgot I was a teacher.

教什么内容 -谢谢 安妮 我差一点忘记自己是一 名人民教师了

Oh! Look at Mr. Smarty Pants !

瞧瞧咱的聪明先生

I am so excited!

我好兴奋啊

Jeff is gonna help me save the school.

杰夫要帮我拯救这所学校

Not all by himself. I am learning Excel.

也不是全靠他哦 我在学Excel制表

Jeff, do you know Excel? - No.

杰夫 你会用Excel不 -不会

Well, it looks like you do.

你的长相说你会用

Yay, teaching!

耶 教课咯

I, as you know, am Dramatic professor Sean Garrity, and you are now embarking on an odyssey of discussion about an actor who keeps the world asking:

我就是喜剧学教授肖恩·加瑞提 你们即将进行一段史诗般的讨论 一个令全世界不停发问的演员

Nicolas Cage, good or bad?

尼古拉斯·凯奇 好还是坏

Yes, young man?

请讲 年轻人

So you don't know? - Mr. Nadir.

那你不知道答案吗 -纳德尔先生

Mr. Nadir drove our TV studies professor out of his mind by proving that there was an answer to the question "Who's the boss?"

纳德尔先生把电视研究学的教授逼疯了 因为他一直在证明「谁是老板」 是有答案的

Angela. - I admire your brain, Mr. Nadir.

是安杰拉 -我佩服您的头脑 纳德尔先生

I did not admire professor Sheffield, but I promise you, this question has no answer.

我并不佩服谢菲尔德教授 但我对你打包票 这问题没答案

Your homework is to watch five Nicolas Cage films by Wednesday, No marathons.

你们的作业是周三前看完五部凯奇的电影 不要连续看

Space out your viewings.

给自己些消化的时间

Five, that's it?

就看五部呗

Be careful, Abed nadir.

小心点 阿布蒂·纳德尔

Promise me you will be careful.

向我保证你会谨慎对待

I have no idea how to make a curriculum .

我根本不知道怎么做课程表

Becoming a teacher was a huge mistake.

当老师真是个天大的错误

Without a doubt.

一点没错

That said, there are certain perks.

这说明 我们也有某种特权

Excuse me.

借光

I didn't know teachers could cut in line.

我可不知道原来教师还能插队

I can actually experience this food warm and disgusting.

这食物让我感觉既温暖又恶心

Winger, what are you doing?

翁格 你干毛呢

This line is for food, not for Lionel Richie tickets.

这是排队买饭 不卖演唱会门票

This is my house.

这是我的地盘

Come here.

你过来

This man's name is Mr. Winger, And Mr. Winger is a teacher.

他的名字是翁格先生 翁格先生是老师

You know what that means ?

明白什么意思吗

It means he gets your meatballs.

就是你要把肉丸献给他

Ah, please. That's all I have.

求求您 我只有这么多了

Get outta here.

滚吧

Place is a zoo.

这地方就是动物园

The trick is, you gotta show the other baboons you got a bigger, redder ass.

门道就是 你要让别的狒狒知道 你的屁股更红更大

Let's hit the lounge .

去休息室吧

Everybody, this is the new guy, Winger.

伙计们 这位是新人 翁格

He's having trouble planning his curriculum.

他不知道该如何做课程表

What?

搞毛啊

Here's all you need to know: Break into groups, grade each other's papers, and please enjoy the seven-disc edition of Planet Earth.

你只需知道这些 分组 互相评分 然后欣赏七碟装的「行星地球」

Is there a Mr. Winger in here?

翁格先生在这里吗

Jeffrey, we need to carve out some time to learn Excel.

杰夫瑞 我们得挤点时间出来学Excel

Do you guys know Excel? I'm learning.

你们知道Excel吗 我在学

You know the rules, Pelton.

你懂规矩的 派尔顿

Drop the checks and move on.

扔下工资条 马上滚蛋

Oh. Jeffrey, I'm gonna boot up my computer and download the tutor ...

杰夫瑞 我要启动电脑然后下载教程

What was that about? - Union rules.

这也可以吗 -工会规定

Management's not allowed in the faculty lounge.

管理层与狗不得进入员工休息室

I could get used to this.

这个我会习惯的

Nicolas cage is so weird.

尼古拉斯·凯奇好奇怪哦

I mean, he seemed scared to smell that flower but happy to get shot.

他貌似害怕闻那朵花 但却愿意被枪击

He's a complex performer.

他是个复杂的演员

He'll give you The Rock, Con Air, then Face Off, and you think you understand, but then Windtalkers, Guarding Tess, The Wicker Man.

演了「勇闯夺命岛」「空中监狱」和「变脸」你以为了解他了 他又去演了「风语者」 「第一夫人的保镖 」 「异教徒」He begs you to stop watching, but you can't. 他祈求大家不要去看 但你欲罢不能

That was an odd choice.

这个选择很蹊跷

Would you say it was odd good or odd bad?

这个蹊跷是褒义还是贬义

Maybe he's just good in good movies and then acts crazy in crap to make drug money.

也许他在好电影里演得好 然后瞎演几部烂片挣点白粉钱

But is he good, or is he bad? Every actor is something.

但他到底是不是好演员 每个演员都有定论

Robert Downey Jr., good, Jim Belushi, bad.

小罗伯特·唐尼好 吉姆·贝鲁西不好

Van Damme, the good kind of bad, Johnny Depp, the bad kind of good.

尚格·云顿 正面角色演得差 强尼·德普 反派演得好

There's a spectrum, and Cage is on it.

就这么个范围 凯奇也在其中

I just have to find him.

我只需把他找出来就行

I'm gonna go check on Jeff.

我去问问杰夫

Hello. - hey, Jeff, how's the old curriculum going?

喂 -杰夫 旧课程进行得如何呀

Great. Consider our nation's youth pre- inspired.

棒极了 我国青年都已经洗好脑了

Want a refill, Winger?

要续杯吗 翁格

Is that Hickey? - Yeah.

是汉基吗 -对啊

We're working on syllabuses.

我俩一起研究「教学捣肛」呢

Hey, let's turd some lockers!

咱们去储物柜里拉粑粑去

Gotta go! Teacher thing!

挂了哈 为师去干正经事了

It's "Syllabi."

是教学大纲啦

Guterman. Droppin' mad science?

古特曼 搞疯狂科学去呀

Ooh, Elaine, take it easy on the Oxford commas.

伊莱恩 小心使用「牛津逗号」啦

Hey, walk, don't run, Mister! This isn't a racetrack!

慢慢走 别跑 先生们 这又不是跑道

Okay, Dangerous Minds, let's break into groups, Discuss Chapter One, and if you are lucky , we might sneak in a little Planet Earth.

好了 危险游戏 咱们先分组 讨论第一章 如果你们够幸运 咱们没准儿再看会儿「行星地球」

Any questions?

有问题吗

Just a few.

就几句

Ahh, she in your class, yo!

原来她在你班上哟

So I guess, just...

那么我想 应该...

Read Chapter One.

阅读第一章

And memorize the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure .

背诵「联邦民事诉讼程序法」

Class dismissed.

下课

Not so fast, Jeff.

别那么着急 杰夫

I assume you know why I'm keeping you after class.

我想你也知道为什么我要留你的堂

Not really.

不知道

Ski Cap and White Dave got lots of stuff wrong too.

帽哥和白戴夫也犯了不少错啊

You're the teacher, Jeff.

你可是老师啊 杰夫

You don't have to rub it in.

你也没必要反复强调吧

What I saw today was embarrassing.

今天我看到这一切真是让人脸红

You were late, you clearly had no idea...

你上课迟到 很显然你完全不知道...

Hey!

喂

You had no idea what tort reform meant, And when I asked you to explain the Sixth Amendment,

你完全不晓得什么叫「侵权法改革」 当我要你解释一下「第六条修正案」时

You pled the Fifth! - I know my rights.

你辩的是第五条 -我知道我的权利

No, you don't. That's the problem.

你不知道 这就是问题所在

Here. I gathered some materials.

给 我收集了一些资料

Tomorrow morning, before class, I need to verify that you know enough to teach.

明天一早 上课之前 我需要确定你有足够的知识可以教人

You're gonna quiz me? You're the worst.

你居然要考我 你是坏人

I wish Troy was in my class instead of you!

我希望特洛伊在我课堂上而不是你

I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

我恨她 恨她恨她恨她 我恨她 恨她恨她恨她

Hey, wait, I warned you to separate these worlds.

等下 我警告过你要区分好彼此的世界

She's lead, we're chalk.

她是优等生 咱们才是老大

She needs to be taken out.

应该把她踢出去

Of your class. I say minus her.

踢出你的课堂 我是指给她减分

Minus her? - Give her A-minuses.

减分 -给她个A减

It'll drive her nuts, she'll drop.

肯定让她抓狂 然后弃课

She'll call me on it. She'll report me.

她会来跟我闹 她会告我的状

Teachers don't have to explain minuses.

老师从来都不用解释为啥给减分

Why do you think we invented 'em?

不然你以为为什么要发明教师这个职业

She's my friend. - Eh.

她是我朋友 -切

You like the Leonard meatballs?

你喜欢伦纳德的肉丸子不

They added something special.

里面加了很特别的料

It's Leonard.

伦纳德的肉

Come on, I'm just messing with you.

我跟你开玩笑呢

You done with your bit? I'd like my earring back.

搞定了没 把我的耳环还回来

Yeah?

是吧

Go get your earring, you piece of human garbage .

去捡呀 你个人渣

Oh, my God.

天哪

Okay, hey, I have a working theory , And don't react until you've heard the whole thing.

嘿 我得出一个规律 在没听完全部内容之前不要随便反应

If you watch closely, at the seven-minute mark in Snake Eyes, You'll notice the moment where an alien arm could've come up and...

如果你仔细看「蛇眼」的第七分钟 你会注意到当外星人胳膊出现时是不可能

Abed, this isn't worth it.

阿布蒂 这样不值得

Maybe Nicolas Cage is just... crazy.

也许尼古拉斯·凯奇只是 疯了而已

All actors are crazy, Annie. Some crazy actors are good, some are bad, but none of them are neither.

所有演员都是疯子 安妮 有些疯得好 有些疯得坏 没有人两个都没有

There's no such thing as both, so which one is...

也没有人两个都是 所以哪一种是...

Nicolas Cage, huh? Oh! Oh!

尼古拉斯·凯奇 嗷嗷

Okay, so break into groups, and then, you guys quiz each other.

好了 分成小组 然后呢 你们互相考对方

Mr. Winger, is that really the best use of our time?

翁格先生 这是对宝贵时间的最好利用吗Seems like the value of having you here is... 看来你在这里的价值也不过是...

I think my value as a teacher is to teach you how to learn.

我觉得我作为老师的价值就是教你们如何学习

I think you're telling us we should teach ourselves.

我觉得你说的是我们应该自己教自己

I don't think you're gonna learn if I tell you how to think.

如果我告诉你该怎么想 你是学不到东西的

I think if you tell us what you think, then we'll learn that.

我觉得如果你告诉我们你的想法 我们会学习到的

I thought you should break into groups, but you failed to learn that, so your theory's invalid.

我觉得你们应该分成小组 如果你学不到的话那你的推理就不能成立

Ooh, snap .

够拽哦

Break into groups.

分成小组

Mr. Winger, how did you do that?

翁格先生 你是怎么做到的

Do what? - You won an argument against Annie Edison.

什么 -你跟安妮·埃迪生辩论吵赢了耶

You don't argue with Annie, Garrett, you let her argue with herself until she loses.

不要跟安妮吵架 加瑞 你让她自己跟自己吵 直到她输掉就好

You can win by not arguing? - Yeah, Ski Cap.

你不用吵都能赢 -没错 帽哥

Anyone that tries to argue has already lost, because they pick an argument to lose.

想吵架的就已经先输掉了 因为他们选择了一场要输的辩论

I mean, that's why I never lost a case.

所以说 我从来不输官司

Prosecutors beat themselves, because they d...here.

公诉人会自己打败自己 因为他们...

Because they draw a circle around something called "The truth,"

因为他们画了个圈 框住一些叫做「真相」的东西

And they say that everything outside it is a lie.

他们声称圆圈之外的都是谎言

Annie.

安妮

Don't cry, you were right.

别哭了 你是对的

I actually might enjoy teaching.

我真的挺喜欢教书

I'm not crying because of you.

我哭不是因为你

I got this from Professor Hickey.

我从汉基教授那里得了这个

What the hell ? He gave you a dead rat?

搞什么鬼 他给了你一只死耗子

No, this is my witness intimidation project .

不是 这是我的证人恐吓作业

He gave me this.

他给了我这个

A-minus.

A减

I guess I overextended my schedule .

我想是我的课业太多了

I'm sorry, Jeff. I have to drop your class.

抱歉了 杰夫 我得退掉你的课了

Okay, thoughts on Nicolas Cage.

好 谈谈对尼古拉斯·凯奇的感想吧

I think he's a genius .

我觉得他是个天才

I mean, he keeps getting hired for some reason , and it's not because of his hair.

我是说 他一直能拍片总是有原因的 而且绝不是因为他的头发

I don't know, if I was in 70 films over 30 years, and I spent each one talking at random volumes, I might accidentally win an Oscar.

我可不晓得 如果我能三十年拍七十部电影 而且每部我说话的音量都不一样 没准儿我能赢个奥斯卡的吧

I think our opinions about pop culture are fed to us by machines designed to criminalize human autonomy.

我觉得我们对流行文化的观点是灌输我们 机器设计的东西 将人类自主权定罪

Good one.

说得好

Dear god.

上帝啊

Abed. - No, stand back.

阿布蒂 -别 退后

Give him space.

给他一点空间

Nicolas Cage, good or bad.

尼古拉斯·凯奇 好还是坏

A challenge , certainly, but not unsolvable, Because all actors have distinct values, which I use to find answers.

当然是个挑战 但并非无解 因为所有演员都有不同的价值 而我则利用这一点寻找答案

Abed, how much Nicolas Cage did you...

阿布蒂 你对尼古拉斯·凯奇做了多少...

Enough!

够了

I watched enough to find... the answers.

我看了很多 足够找到答案了

Because this... this is my reality , this is how I learned to be, and my being doesn't allow for Nicolas...

因为这是我的现实 这是我的认识 而我的人生绝不允许尼古拉斯...

Freaking Cage, okay?

草泥马的凯奇嗷耶 Oh, yeah!

Yeah! Oh! Oh!

耶 嗷嗷 Yeah! Oh! Oh!

Oh, I'm a cat. I'm a sexy cat.

我是一只猫 我是一只性感猫咪

Abed?

阿布蒂

Think of something safe like Holly Hunter, or Don Cheadle!

想点安心的东西 比如 荷莉·亨特或唐·钱德勒

Abed? Abed!

阿布蒂 阿布蒂

That was brilliant .

太赞了

You gave Annie A-minus?

你给安妮打了个A减How could you? What were you thinking ? 你怎么这样 你想什么呢

Are you drawing a peanut? - It's a duck, and it's none of your concern , actually.

你在画花生吗 -这是鸭子 而且这不管你的事

Are you trying to cartoon ?

你是要画漫画吗

Trying and succeeding. State your business.

正努力取得成功 说你的事儿吧

I want to know what kind of monster minuses the best student in his class.

我想知道是什么样的怪物 会给自己班上最好的学生减分

I'm a monster?

我是怪物

I was in the storm drain lair of the Black River Ripper.

我是栖息在雨水沟巢穴的黑水河开膛手

I have seen human heads used for things other than heads, so you best not be calling me a monster.

我目睹了人类的头脑用在头脑以外的事物上 所以最好别叫我怪物

Okay, you're a bad teacher.

好吧 你是个糟糕的老师

I got her off your back.

她不再纠缠你 多亏了我

I was handling it.

我明明应对得很好

Unlike you, I know how to engage my students.

不像你 我知道怎么鼓励我的学生

I mean, I may not love teaching, but I did fool around with it today, and I may hook up with it again a few more times even if I do dump it right before Christmas.

我是说我或许不喜欢教书 但我今天确实糊弄得不错 也许我还会再糊弄几次 即使我可能会在圣诞节前撂挑子

We do not work for them. - Maybe we do.

我们不是为他们而工作的 -也许是

That does not count as an argument.

那不算是辩护

Yeah, well, drawing ducks doesn't count as cartooning!

是啊 画鸭子还不算画漫画呢

It's one duck, his name is Jim, and publishers are interested!

就一只鸭子 他叫吉姆 出版商们很感兴趣

Miss Edison, good news.

埃迪生小姐 好消息

I talked to Professor Hickey and it turns out your project was an "A."

我跟汉基教授谈过 原来你的作业得了A

You used your connections to change my grade?

你走后门帮我改成绩

No, an A-minus means you actually earned an "A,"

不 得了A减其实代表你得了A

but your teacher doesn't like you.

但是老师不喜欢你

It's a secret faculty thing. - What?

这是教师队伍的小秘密 -什么

Are you kidding? - Et tu, Brute?

你在开玩笑吗 -怎么连你都这样

Am I using that right?

我用对了吗

I've been busting my butt for five years, and the whole thing comes down to a few old losers' petty insecurities?

我辛辛苦苦学习了五年 成绩却要看几个老废柴的脸色 和他们可怜的不安全感

Oligarchy! - Et tu, Brute!

完全是寡头政治 -怎么连你都这样

We've got to tell people!

我们得去告诉大家

Minuses are made up!

A减B减什么的 都是编出来的

It's riot time! Yeah!

造反搞起来

Bring me their heads!

把他们的头颅拿来

Pop pop!

噼里啪啦砰砰

Abed? I couldn't find you at school, so I got worried.

阿布蒂 在学校找不到你 我有点担心

You're throwing away all your little movies, why?

你把你的电影都扔掉了 你干什么啊

They have no value anymore.

它们没有价值了

Well, if you're looking for something to believe in, I know a skinny, little Hebrew handyman you could meet.

如果你在寻找信仰 我可以为你引见一位瘦瘦的希伯来杂工

I'm not going to become Christian, Shirley, Or a better Muslim.

我不会成为基督徒的 雪莉 或是一个更好的穆斯林教徒

This was my religion .

这是我的宗教信仰

I thought the meaning of people was somewhere in here.

我以为人类的意义在这其中

Then I looked inside Nicolas Cage and I found a secret.

然后我看透了尼古拉斯·凯奇 发现了一个秘密

People are random and pointless.

人类随机而无意义

well, in my religion, the whole point is that you can't understand every little thing, and you know, there's a word for people who remind you that you're not God, and invite you to try a little harder.

在我的宗教信仰中 最重要的事是你不会了解每 一件小事 有个词就是给人类的 提醒他们你们 不是上帝 诚邀你们再努力一点

Prophets, Messiahs, Fung Fu pandas.

先知 救世主 功夫熊猫

So Nicolas Cage is Jesus? - uh, no, but he clearly works in mysterious ways, and maybe that's just his job.

尼古拉斯·凯奇是耶稣吗 -不 但他行事的确诡异也许那就是他的工作所在

And that's why critics can call him a genius or an idiot and be right no matter what.

所以影评人可以叫他天才或是白痴 不管怎样都是对的

A demon to some and an angel to others, like a cenobite.

有人觉得是魔鬼 有人觉得是天使 就像修道士

Excuse me, did you say cenobite?

什么 你是说修道士吗

Yeah, you know, cenobite, like from Hellraiser.

是啊 修道士 「猛鬼追魂」里那个

You like hellraiser? You know the word "Hellraiser"?

你喜欢「猛鬼追魂」 你知道猛鬼追魂这词

I thought Pinhead in space was a bit of a letdown, but I'm in for the ride.

我觉得太空针头鬼有点扯淡 但是我挺喜欢的

Rise up, Greendale!

起来吧 格林德尔

Your teachers have been lying to you!

你们的老师一直都在欺骗你们

You deserve slightly higher grades!

你们本应该拿到稍高学分的Slightly higher grades! Slightly higher grades! 稍高学分 稍高学分

The whole world is watching this!

全世界都在看着我们

Yeah! - oh, Wait.

噢耶 -等等

I'm out of data minutes.

我没有流量了

The whole world will be watching this on the first of next month!

在下个月第一天 全世界都会看着我们Slightly higher grades! Slightly higher grades! 稍高学分 稍高学分

Jeffrey, do something! - Slightly higher grades.

杰夫瑞 做点什么 -稍高学分

Distract them. Take your shirt off!

转移注意力大法 上衣脱掉

Here. - Slightly higher grades!

来 我帮你 -稍高学分

Slightly higher grades! - Everybody, Calm down! Just listen!

稍高学分 -所有人 冷静下来 听我说

Do you think the students and teachers at Harvard are at each other's throats?

你们认为哈佛的学生和老师 会这样拼命大吵大闹吗

No, because they're all rich.

不会 因为他们都很有钱

We all have something in common too.

我们也有共同点

We all suck . We're all broke.

我们都很逊 都是穷光蛋

We all just went through an entire week of meatball lunches without even blinking.

我们一整周吃恶心的肉丸餐 连眼都不眨一下的

Oh, that's on me.

我的错I converted the lunch menu to a spreadsheet. 我弄表格时一不小心把午餐单搞成重复的了

The teachers here are teachers here because they did something wrong, same as the students.

学校的老师之所以来到这里 是因为他们做了错事 跟学生一样

So get on the same team, because, take it from me, those of us that get to leave aren't going anywhere.

所以我们还在站成一队吧 听我的没错 因为离开的那些人也好不到哪去

Boo! - No, you suck!

下去吧 -你烂透了

Jeffrey, go with my "Take off your shirt" plan!

杰弗瑞 还是用我想出的脱衣绝技吧

May I point out that you're doing this together?

我能指出你们在一起嘘我吗

It's all based on rows and columns of cells.

它基于横排竖排什么的

I think that's why the call it "Excel."

所以才叫做「Excel」

I don't care. - Mm-kay, Now, I know it's unrealistic to think that we can eliminate riots completely, but I have been crunching the numbers, and I believe we can reduce them by 40%.

我不关心 -好吧 我知道认为我们能 完全制止暴动很不现实 但是我经过鼓捣数字 我认为我们能降低到40%

Let's hope the man doesn't target you

希望他们不会因为你敢于梦想

for dreaming this big. - Here's my plan.

而把你作为目标 -这是我的计划

You know that "Save Greendale" Committee you pretended to form?

还记得你假装成立「拯救格林德尔」委员会吗

We need one of those for real.

我们需要一个真正的

I want a student/teacher alliance , with you in charge .

我要组成一个学生/教师同盟 你来统领I vote myself out. - You don't have a quorum. 我投票将我自己除名 -你都凑不够法定人数

And don't forget, if I fire you, you're likely starve and die, so you know.

别忘了 如果我炒了你 你可能会饿死 你懂的

Do you want me to cut your meatball?

要我帮你切肉丸吗

All right, look, there are two things I don't do well, Apologies and drawing duck bills.

听着 有两件事我不擅长 道歉和画鸭舌头

I lost perspective .

我没搞清状况

Students aren't the enemy, And, I don't know, maybe my bills are a little pointy.

学生不是敌人 怎么说呢 也许舌头画得有点尖

Maybe I'm basing them on beaks.

但我是根据它们嘴画的

Apologize to Annie.

给安妮道歉

I did, I gave her an "A."

道了 我给了她A

I don't know how else to make it right.

我不知道还能怎么弥补

Oh. I guess, I don't know, I quit .

我不知道 我辞职算了

I got a better idea.

我有更好的主意

As our first order of business for the student/teacher Save Greendale committee, We hereby ban the Dean from attending future meetings.

作为「拯救格林德尔」 学生/教师委员会会议的第一个议题 我们在此禁止院长再次出席

Yeah. - Our second order of business:

好样的 -第二项议题

Lunch. - Yeah.

午餐 -噢耶

I'm taste-testing rations for the shelter I'm digging.

我在为我挖的避难所试吃口粮

Are you the coolest person in the world?

你是世界上最酷的人吗

I doubt it.

恐怕不是

I would like to address the fact that there are no Asian-americans represented here.

我想声明 委员会没有亚裔代表

We can get Chang.

我们可以找昌

No need to rush into anything, I just wanted to address it.

不必轻易做决定 我就是那么一说

Anybody want some nuts?

谁想吃坚果

\h \h

但今天不会学Excel 我的思绪如此法式

Quiet, I think Jeff's coming. - This is gonna be hilarious.

安静 杰夫好像来了 -肯定特好玩

Yeah, pharmacy please.

是的 接药房 谢谢

Yeah, this is Buzz Hickey.

我是巴兹·汉基

I think you gave me the wrong medication.

你们好像给错药了

I usually get lipitor.

我通常会拿到立普妥[降血脂药]

What do you mean my insurance won't cover it anymore?

说我的保险不能报销这药是什么意思

My body doesn't respond well to the generic stuff.

通用药对我的身体不起作用

Let me ask you a question, lady, can you pay out of pocket?

我问你个问题 女士 你自己掏钱消费吗

I'm an educator, ma'am, living on a teacher's salary !

我是个教育工作者 女士 就靠教师工资过活

No, I-I'm sorry. What's your name?

不 抱歉 你叫什么

Leia, well, let me tell you something, Leia, I wake up every night screaming.

莉亚 你听我说 莉亚 我每晚都会尖叫着醒来

Life is unfair, but it's the only thing we g...

生活不公平 但那只是...

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll call back later.

好吧 我稍后再打过来

Mom, it's Buzz. I'm gonna say this as fast as I can.

妈 我是巴兹 我有话直说

We can't afford to bury dad with the rest of the family.

我们没钱把爸爸跟其他家人葬在一起