S03E16 — We are so screwed.

We are so screwed.

我们完蛋了

How are we gonna memorize all this?

这么多内容怎么可能全记住

Let's just go over it again.

那咱们就再复习一遍

Kingdom , phylum, class-- order , family, genus, species .

界 门 纲 目 科 属 种

I use a mnemonic device .

我用了记忆法

'"Kevin, please come over for gay sex."

凯文 过来爆个菊 [首字母一致]

Why wouldn't you use "Karen"?

你为啥不用 凯伦 呢

'cause it's gay sex, dummy.

因为玩的是爆菊啊 傻瓜

So use "Great".

那就用 啪啪啪

Now I can't remember anything. Thanks!

这下我全都记不住了 我谢你啊

God, why do we always wind up in this position?

老天爷啊 我们为何老是被逼到这般田地呢

For all the time you spend here, you'd think we wouldn't have to cram so much.

我们在这里耗费了这么多时间 不该还这么死记硬背对付考试啊

Maybe we never get any work done because we have so much fun hanging out together.

也许是因为我们处得太嗨了 所以我们根本就没好好学过习

Definitely , maybe that's why.

绝对的 很可能就是这原因

Ah, the duali-dean of man.

啊 双面俏院长来也

I'm dressed this way because I have good news and bad news.

穿成这样是因为我带来了好消息和坏消息

You have got to be kidding me.

真是刺瞎我的氪金狗眼

The bad news is professor Kane has the flu.

坏消息是凯恩教授得了流感The good news is Biology class is canceled... 好消息是生物课取消了

After you.

您先请

What a gentleman.

真是绅士风度

Guys, we don't have to cram last minute anymore.

伙计们 咱不用临时抱佛脚啦

Last minute got moved to tomorrow.

可以到明天再抱了

Three-hour lunch? Three-hour lunch? Three- hour lunch?

三小时午餐 三小时午餐 三小时午餐

Three hours?

三个小时

I could watch the first half of three movies.

我能看完一部半电影了

Ooh, I don't have to go to the fast food restaurant across the street.

这样我也不去街对面的快餐店吃了

I can go to the fancy one across town.

我要去城外的高档餐厅

Their manager wears a tie.

那里的经理还打领带

If we don't eat, we can make-believe an whole episode's worth of Inspector Spacetime in the Dreamatorium.

要是不吃饭 咱就能在幻梦空间 演上整整一集的 《时空探长》

Word. - Yeah.

一个字 -好

Maybe we should go to Senor Kevin's.

咱也许该去凯文餐厅

Britta, didn't you want to try that new cage- free bean burrito?

布雷塔 你不想尝尝新出的 散养芸豆玉米烤饼吗

The tortillas are made with micro-financed flour .

据说面饼是用小额信贷出的面粉做的

Troy, you could drive.

特洛伊 你可以当司机

You always like that spiral parking ramp.

你一直都很喜欢那里停车场的螺旋坡道You just keep turning left, but you end up up! 只要不停向左拐 就可以直接到上头

I can't go to Senor Kevin's.

我不能去凯文餐厅

The manager and I are enemies.

我跟那经理是仇家

He said Die Hard was bad.

他说《虎胆龙威》不好看He said Die Hard was bad. - I know, buddy. 他说《虎胆龙威》不好看 -我懂的

Well, how about this.

那 要不这样

This lunch is already a runaway train, no point in stopping it.

反正这顿午餐行程已定 没得回头

Troy, Britta, you go to Senor Kevin's.

特洛伊 布雷塔 你们去凯文餐厅

Abed promised he'd show me how the Dreamatorium works.

阿布蒂之前答应给我介绍幻梦空间

Today's the perfect day for it. - But I want to- - Abed, don't you think today's the perfect day for it?

今天不去更待何时 -可我想... 阿布蒂 你不觉得今天去正好合适吗

No.

不觉得

Abed. - Is this a social cue?

阿布蒂 -这算是社交暗示吗

I left my puttin' on the ritz cane in here earlier.

我的炫舞手杖落这儿了

I know it probably has another name, but, um, can I be perfectly honest with you guys?

我知道也许这另有名字 不过嘛 我能跟你们坦诚相告吗

I think I went too far with this one.

我觉得我这次玩得有点过火了

I have to go to the bank today.

我今天还得去银行啊

What am I supposed to tell people in line?

我该怎么给排队的人们说什么呢

'"I had good news and bad news"?

有个好消息和一个坏消息

Come on, Craig.

算了 克拉格

Get you life together.

好好过日子吧

■ I am Inspector Spacetime.

我是时空探长

And I know that which is unknown.

我通晓所有的未知

Duty-bound to protect a universe of innocent unremarkables, I patrol it in the x7 dimensionizer with my loyal constable, Reggie.

义不容辞保护这无辜而平凡的宇宙 我和我忠实的助手雷吉 负责七维空间的巡逻守护

This week, however, Reggie has been forced to go to lunch.

然而这周 雷吉被迫去吃午餐了

So I'm aboard the much crappier H.M.S. Spacetime 12, from the worst season ever, with temporary constable, Geneva.

因此在最烂的季节 我和临时助手吉内瓦 一起登上了烂到家的时空飞船12号

Geneva, I need the quantum spanner, the big one.

吉内瓦 我需要量子扳手 大号的

Oi, Gov'ner, quantum spammer, up an' at 'em, in'it?

嗷 长官 量子扳手 妥妥的

If we can't get out of orbital lock, The Blorgons may intercept.

如果我们不能弄开这轨道锁 河蟹战警便会拦截到我们

Tut tut, M' lord .

啧啧啧 长官

Wouldn't give a tuppence for that sticky wicket.

区区小事何惧之有

Okay, stop simulation.

行了 暂停模拟

More British?

再多点英国口音?

I can't do this anymore.

我演不下去了

But the Blo-gons might intercept-- It's Blorgons with an "R".

可红鞋战警可能会拦截... 是河蟹战警

Blo-gon means "Thank you" in Blorgon.

红鞋在河蟹战警里是谢谢的意思

(mean Can't we play something I know about Like Hospital Administration ?

的第三人称单数)[复数means]; 就不能玩些我熟悉的 比如医院管理

You're mad at me for playing matchmaker with Troy and Britta.

你是生气我替特洛伊和布雷塔牵线

You think you're gonna lose Troy.

你觉得会失去特洛伊

I'm not petty, Annie.

我没那么小气 安妮

I'm mad at you because you tampered with the fabric of the group.

我生气是因为你肆意篡改 学习小组的结构

How do you know Troy and Britta pairing up wouldn't destroy everything?

你怎么确定特洛伊和布雷塔成为一对 不会全盘尽毁呢

I run the scenarios.

我预演过这个场景

I examine this stuff from every conceivable angle .

我从各种可能性的角度演算过

Oh, and you can do that but I can't?

就你能掐会算 我就不行吗

You don't have a patent on being a control freak, Abed.

控制狂又不是你的专利 阿布蒂

I kind of do.

就是我专利

You think this is just a room where Troy and I play Dinosaurs Versus riverboat gamblers together?

你以为这里只是我跟特洛伊玩恐龙 大战游轮赌徒的房间吗

Sure, it's how I got the construction approved, but, much like myself, the Dreamatorium has higher functions.

当然 我凭此获得了改建许可 但正如我自己一样 幻梦空间有着更高级牛逼的功能

Would you like me to show you how your stunt with Troy and Britta will play itself out?

想让我演示一下 在你乱点鸳鸯谱后 特洛伊和布雷塔的结局如何

Why not?

干吗不呢

Execute simulation Troy/Britta.

执行模拟特洛伊/布雷塔

Render environment Senor Kevin's.

渲染环境 凯文餐厅

oh, those appetizers were dope and legit!

这些开胃小点太美味了

I don't usually support lunch because it's unfair to breakfast.

我通常不支持午餐 因为这对早餐太不公平了

I never thought about meals fighting each other.

我从没想过三餐还能互相掐架

I guess that explains why you never see any two of them on the same table.

我想这就是我们从没见过 早餐午餐出现在同一张餐桌上的原因

So I guess Annie's pretty hot to get us together.

我觉得安妮还挺热心撺掇我们俩一起She probably just doesn't understand people. 她可能只是不了解人心

Well, the sooner the food comes, The sooner this will be over.

菜上得越快 这事结束得越早

I'm afraid your food won't be ready for another half hour.

恐怕您点的菜还要有半小时才能上桌

I'm too busy misunderstanding the whole point of Die Hard.

我正忙着努力理解《虎胆威龙》的主旨

I can't wait to get home to Abed.

我迫不及待地想回家找阿布蒂

So you can dart back and forth doing impressions of your friends.

你不就是会来来回回地 模拟你朋友的样子嘛

There's no science at work here.

这里又没什么科学原理

You're right.

说得对

The science is at work in here.

科学原理在这儿运行呢

This is the Dreamatorium's engine .

这是幻梦空间的引擎

My thoughts are collected by this box And everything I know about my friends is stored here.

我的思想被收集在这个盒子里 我所知道有关我朋友的一切都储存在这里

Both are distilled by logic and then recombined into objective observation .

两用逻辑蒸馏 并调配成客观观察

I'm able to simulate any of the study group And even a half-accurate Chang in over 7,000 unique situations.

由此我可以模拟学习小组任何一个成员 甚至包括7000种特殊场景下的半真昌

Abed, it's cardboard tubes and a funnel.

阿布蒂 这就是纸板做的管道和漏斗

Well you see it that way because it's calibrated to a specific level of brain function .

只有脑力达标的人才能看到本质 所以你只能看到表象

Right. I'm stupid.

对 我就是蠢

Not stupid, just less able to see what I see.

不是蠢 就是没我看得深远

Gee, you've got it all figured out.

就你最明白

King of toilet paper rolls over here.

你可真成了厕纸之王了

Hey, Troy, I'm glad you called.

特洛伊 真高兴你打来电话

Your lunch is going well, right?

饭吃得还好吧

Yeah, just checking on Abed.

还好 我就问问阿布蒂的情况

Making sure he's okay.

他还好吧

What? He's fine.

什么 他挺好的

He just implied I operate on a lower level of brain function, so business as usual.

就是拐弯抹角地说我脑力不足 表现不力之类的跟平时一样

Great, um, just, you know, make sure he stays comfortable.

好吧 你好好照顾他

I worry about him when I'm not around.

我不在就怕他出状况

Well, he's fine, he always will be.

他挺好 他能不好吗People bend over backwards to cater to him. 谁都得对他卑躬屈膝

He's just extra sensitive in the Dreamatorium.

他把幻梦空间看得很重

It takes a lot out of him to run that thing.

费了他不少心思

I don't want you to break his brain.

你可别把他搞崩坏了

Bye, Troy.

挂了 特洛伊

How is he?

他怎么样

He'll be okay.

没事

It's so sweet how much you care about him.

你这么关心他 真是贴心

And another thing I hate about Die Hard, Two FBI agents named Johnson I've been thinking about our Inspector Spacetime scenario.

我又想起《虎胆龙威》一个槽点 居然俩FBI探员都叫约翰逊 关于《时空探长》的演绎 我想了下

It might work better if instead of playing Geneva, you played Rosamund.

要是你不演吉内瓦 而是演罗莎蒙德 说不定就能行

She was a constable in season five and she only had three lines.

她是第五季里出现的警官 而且只有三句台词

I have a better idea.

我有更好的主意

You know what would make your scenarios a lot more realistic ?

你知道怎么能让戏更贴近生活吗

If Troy weren't on a date.

特洛伊没出去约会就好了

Why don't you take all your thoughts and your logic and add one step to the process .

你可以保留你所有的想法和逻辑 不过要加上一个步骤

What are you doing? - From now on, before you do or say anything, you're gonna think about how it affects the people around you.

你干嘛 -从现在起 不管你打算说什么做什么 都要先考虑对周围人可能造成的影响

We lower functioning brains call this "Empathy".

我们这种脑力不足的人称之为 体恤他人

Abed?

阿布蒂

Abed?

阿布蒂

Oh, my god, I broke Abed.

完了 阿布蒂被我搞崩坏了

Abed?

阿布蒂

You know how you wanted me to tell you when you were being scary weird instead of cute weird?

还记得吗 你以前求过我 一旦你不再怪得可爱而是怪得吓人 就要提醒你

This is scary weird.

这就算是怪得吓人了

Hello, Annie.

你好 安妮

What was I doing on the floor?

我刚才怎么躺在地上了

Were we...Doing it?

我们在...啪啪啪吗

Are you being Jeff?

你在学杰夫吗

Well, I'm not being a Kardashian.

反正我没在学卡戴珊

So where are we now?

现在场景是哪里

We're in the doctor's lounge of Greendale hospital school.

格林德尔医学院 医生休息室

Hospital school?

医学院

It's a sexy emotional school where doctors save lives and make love, Often simultaneously.

是一所性感暧昧的学校 医生在此妙手回春 颠鸾倒凤 通常二者兼顾哦

Our stories, ripped from the headlines.

我们的故事 占据头条

Our passions, unbridled.

我们的激情 恣意放纵

Our cafeteria, eh...

感动人的; 我们的咖啡厅

Make love to me, Ann.

献身于我吧 安

I know I'm just a surgeon and you're a hotshot upstart administrator, But damn the rules, damn the system , damn our two foot height disparity,

我知道我只是个外科医生 而你是正处事业上升期的院长 可去他的狗屁规定 狗血体制完蛋去你我之间两英尺的身高差也见鬼去

I want you.

我想要你

Okay, Abed, I get it, we have different sensibilities.

行了 阿布蒂 懂你意思了 咱俩对体恤的定义不一样

Later.

回见

Bye.

再见

I'm leaving.

我走了

Okay, Dr. Jeff, Can you please tell me where I can find Abed?

好吧 杰夫医生 请问你知道阿布蒂在哪吗

I owe him an apology .

我要向他道歉

Abed? Never heard of him.

阿布蒂 没听说过

Terrific.

好嘛

I asked you a question, doctor.

我问你问题呢 医生

I'm a surgeon!

我是外科医生

And I'm your administrator!

我是你的院长

I left my wife for you and she was pregnant !

我为了你抛弃发妻 她当时还怀着孕呢

Who do you think inseminated her?

又是谁叫她怀上的

Now tell me what I want to know or god as my witness , I'll have your stethoscope.

立即回答我的问题 否则黄天在上 姐立即没收你的听诊器

Fine.

算你狠

Dr. Perry might know.

派利医生可能知道

Render environment bio lab.

环境渲染 生物实验室

Look, there's Britta and Troy fooling around with each other.

看那 布雷塔和特洛伊正在瞎搞呢

Look, there's Abed having overcome his issues.

看那 阿布蒂已经恢复了

Nice try.

没用啦

Dr. Barnes, Dr. Perry.

巴恩斯医生 派利医生

We just saved an uninsured homeless man's life.

我们刚挽救了一名流浪汉的生命

Using an unapproved procedure .

采用了一种未获批准的手术

Now, we're going to kiss.

现在我们要接吻了

This is what you think I want?

你以为我是来看这个的吗

What do you want, administrator?

那你想看什么 院长大人

I want to talk to Abed.

我想跟阿布蒂说话

There's no one here by that name

这里没这个人

You're lying. - Maybe I am, so what?

你说谎 -也许吧 你又能怎样

I was raised on the mean streets of harlem.

我可是黑人区里混大的

I'm not scared of you.

才不怕你

Well, be scared of this.

那你瞧好吧

Sodium pentothal, known commonly as truth serum.

硫喷妥钠 俗称吐真剂

I saw Abed's name in the hospital school files, I love butt stuff, I hate spiders, I stole a pen from the bank,

我在医学院档案里见过阿布蒂的名字 我有恋臀癖 讨厌蜘蛛 从银行偷过一支笔

I cried during About A Boy... The soundtrack...

看《单亲插班生》时我痛哭流涕 那配乐

I don't wash my hands before surgery .

我做手术前不洗手

I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him.

我知道克里夫·欧文让女人着迷的原因 我也因为同样的原因迷恋他

I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the internet at the drop of a hat.

为了在网上掐架获胜 我动不动就拿出 希特勒做比喻

I know nothing about wine.

我对酒一窍不通

I'm more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie.

穿睡衣的女性比穿内衣的更让我性致勃勃

I just want to know they feel comfortable.

我只想让她们穿得舒适而已

I didn't get Inception.

我没看懂《盗梦空间》

I didn't get Inception.

我没看懂《盗梦空间》

You said you saw his name in the files.

你说在档案里看到过他的名字

There's so many layers.

好多页呢

Right, render environment medical study room.

对 环境渲染 医学院自习室

There's head nurse , Shirley, talking to tragic, heart-wrenching alzheimer's Patient and emmy-contender, Pierce Hawthorne.

护士长雪瑞 正在跟悲痛欲绝的老年痴呆病患兼艾美奖提名者皮尔斯·霍桑说话

surgery:n.

外科;外科手术;手术室;诊疗室; attractive:adj.吸引人的;有魅力的;引人注目的; nurse:vt. 看护，护理;照顾;培养;给…喂奶; vi.照料，护理;喂奶;当保姆; n.护士;奶妈，保姆; Patient:adj.有耐心 的，能容忍的; n.病人;患者; Pierce:v. 穿透;扎;刺破;穿过; n. 皮尔斯; Mr. Hawthorne, you're out of your bed again. 霍桑先生 你又下床了 'Cause I think I'm on a train.

Just give me a reason .

我以为在火车上呢

Shirley, get me the file on Abed.

雪瑞 帮我把阿布蒂的档案找出来

Abed doesn e exist, young lady.

没有这个人 姑娘

He exists if I say so.

我说有就有

This is my hospital school.

这是我开的医学院

Your hospital school, young lady, is a simulation being run through a filter of other people's needs.

姑娘 你的医学院只是仿真模拟 并且都要通过一个 他人需求 过滤器生成

Abed's been filtered out because nobody needs him.

阿布蒂被过滤掉了 因为没人需要他

I need him.

我就需要

Well you're not simulated.

可惜你不是幻境中人

No, but this is!

好吧 但这下就不同了

And there are more where that didn't come from.

老娘还有更厉害的招还没使出来呢

This is a private compartment.

这里是私人隔间

Jeff, get the files.

杰夫 去拿档案

Why me?

为什么让我去

Because you can see the cabinets.

因为你能找到档案柜

And I'll make love to you.

事成之后我将以身相许

Jackpot.

爽爆了

There is an Abed in this hospital school, but he's not a doctor.

医学院里倒有个叫阿布蒂的 但他不是医生

He's a patient.

他是个病人

Notify security ! - Conductor !

保安 -快来人

Jeff, take me to that Abed.

杰夫 带我去找那个阿布蒂

Where is that?

他在哪呢

Enough games, just take me where I wanna go.

我玩够了 就带我去我想去的地方吧

Follow me.

跟我来

Are we close?

快到了吗

Almost there, although you should probably run in place and let the hall way move around you.

近在咫尺了 不过你应该跑起来 让路自己在你脚下飞驰

Here we are.

咱们到了

Where?

到哪儿了

Where you wanted to go.

到你想去的地方了

The last night of school, first year.

第一学年放假前的最后一夜

The night we kissed.

咱俩激情热吻的那一晚Abed wasn't there, so whose memory is this? 阿布蒂当时可没在场 这是谁的记忆

Maybe it's yours.

可能是你的

Maybe the Dreamatorium really works.

或许幻梦空间真的有效

Or maybe Leonard was watching from the bushes and told Abed about it.

又或者是伦纳德躲在草丛中偷窥到了 然后告诉了阿布蒂

I don't have cable .

我可没有告密

Knock it off, Abed.

少来这套 阿布蒂

I'm not Abed.

我不是阿布蒂

You're confused, and so was I.

你有点困惑 我曾经也是如此

But not any more.

但我已不再迷惘

Jeff--Abed stop.

杰夫...阿布蒂 别闹了

I don't want to do this.

我不想再陪你胡闹了

I want to talk to ABed.

我想跟阿布蒂谈谈

I'm taking the file.

我拿着档案呢

Oh, it says Abed isn't the recovery parlor.

看起来阿布蒂可不是个回收站

Condition--never better.

身体状况 好得不能再好了

You're not holding anything.

你手上空无一物

This is the file.

档案在这

Abed Nadir, psychiatric patient 1373, Control freak with no empathy.

阿布蒂·纳德尔 1373号精神病人 毫无同理心的控制狂People bend over backwards to cater to him. 大家不得不尽力去迎合他

Signed, Healthcare Administrator Annie Edison.

签名 医院院长安妮·埃迪生

That's out of context.

你这是断章取义

You've thought of everything, Annie.

你操心得太多了 安妮

With Abed gone and Troy and Britta together, there's nothing standing in the way of us.

阿布蒂消失了 特洛伊和布雷塔好上了 再没有什么能妨碍咱俩了

Wait, what?

等等 你说啥

Come on.

来吧

This is you dream.

这是你梦寐以求的

This is why you played matchmaker.

你是因此才扮演红娘的角色

This is what's important to you.

这才是你在意的事情

You are not Jeff.

你又不是杰夫

Because Jeff cares about Abed.

因为杰夫关心阿布蒂

And I did not push Troy and Britta together so this would happen .

我撮合特洛伊和布雷塔才不是因为 我想咱俩能成呢

I did it because I thought they were cute together and this would have been a bonus.

只是因为我觉得他俩很般配 当然咱俩能圆满就算锦上添花了

And we are not here.

但是我们不在这个场景中

And I'm not staying here because I hate whoever you are.

不管你是谁 我讨厌你 我要走了

You should probably storm off in-- in place.

你横冲直撞的时候记得注意... 墙

Where do you wanna go next?

你接下来想去哪儿

I wanna be alone.

我想一个人待会

Sounds good to me.

听起来挺好的

Execute simulation, Annie/Annie.

执行模拟 安妮与安妮

There.

搞定

Now we're alone.

现在就剩咱自己了

Great, so you're me now.

好嘛 现在你又开始扮我了

Why are you blowing our magic moment with Jeff?

你为什么要破坏我们跟杰夫的美妙时光呢

It's not magic.

一点也不美妙

It's not even real.

压根都不是真的

But we love Jeff.

不过我们确实爱杰夫

No, we don't.

不 才没有

We're just in love with the idea of being loved.

我们只是爱着那种被人爱的感觉

And if we can teach a guy like Jeff to do it, we'll never be unloved.

如果能教会像杰夫那样的家伙来爱我们 就再也不用担心没人爱我们了

So we keep running the same scenario over and over hoping for a different result .

我们可以一遍遍运行相同的场景 期盼一个不一样的结局

Running scenarios.

运行场景

Careful now.

注意点

You're starting to sound like Abed.

你现在说话的口吻有点像阿布蒂了

So...I probably shouldn't say things like "Star Wars.

也就是说...我不能说 星球大战

Zardoz, Cougar Town, cool, cool, cool."

萨杜斯 熟女镇 酷酷酷 之类的咯

Stop it. - Pop culture , pop culture.

别闹了 -流行文化 流行文化

I'm on a TV show. - You're gonna get in trouble.

我上电视了 -你会有麻烦的

Meta, meta.

变形成功

It's Abed!

阿布蒂

I got an Abed here!

阿布蒂出现了

Get him!

把他抓起来

That's it.

正是如此

I find you guilty of being Abed.

我发现你愧于做阿布蒂

You're under arrest !

你被逮捕了

Can I just interject and say I don't know what the hell 's going on?

我能插嘴问下 到底怎么回事么

This time you'll never get out.

这次你可永远跑不了了

Abed?

阿布蒂吗

Abed.

阿布蒂

Yeah.

没错

I found you by turning into you, how cool is that?

我通过变成你找到了你 我聪明吧

Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

酷 酷酷酷

Tell me where we are so I can pretend to see it.

告诉我咱们现在在哪 我好入戏

We're inside a locker.

咱们被锁在一个储物柜里了

It's where I spent a lot of time in junior high.

我初中大部分时间都是在这度过的

You think this is where we'd put you?

你觉得是我们会把你逼成这样

You know that's absurd, right?

你明白这有多荒谬对吧

Well, I'm not stupid.

好吧 我又不傻

You can see I've increased the square footage.

你看 我把内部空间扩大了

It's a metaphorical locker.

这个储物柜是一个暗喻

It's a place where people like me get put when everyone's finally fed up with us.

像我这样的人 被大家厌恶了之后就会被关进这里

Abed, so maudlin.

阿布蒂 你太敏感了

If you start turning into a vampire-- I've run the simulations, Annie.

如果你变成吸血鬼... 我已经模拟过了 安妮

I don't get married , I don't invent a billion dollar website that helps people have sex.

我没有婚配 也没创建价值数亿的网站 方便广大网友约炮

I don't make in into Sundance, Slamdance or dance pants .

在圣丹斯和斯兰丹斯电影节里 我籍籍无名 舞裤也没我的份

Troy invents dance pants in 2019.

特洛伊在2019年发明了舞蹈裤

Don't tell him, he needs to stumble onto it.

别告诉他 这事他得靠猿粪

All right, listen.

好吧 听着

The scenarios you run in here are like great... science fiction .

你这儿上演的故事就像是 一部伟大的科幻小说

They're impressive and detailed and insightful, but they're not accurate for crap.

令人难忘 详叙其事 立意深远 但它并非现实

Science fiction never has been.

科幻小说都是虚构的

Look at 2001.

就像2001太空漫游

Did we have a Space Odyssey?

难道我们真有奥德赛太空吗

No, we got snowboarding in the Olympics and we over-validated Carson Daly.

没有 我们只有冬奥会单板滑雪比赛 以及被吹上天的卡森·戴利

That poor guy. - Yeah, cry me a river.

可怜的人 -对 我都泪流满面了

My point is, your simulations are nothing more than anxieties.

我是想说 你模拟这些场景只能带来焦虑

You're afraid you don't fit in.

你担心自己不合群

You're afraid you'll be alone.

担心自己会落单

Great news--you share that with all of us, so you'll never be alone and you'll always fit in.

好消息是 你愿把这些想法与我们分享 所以你绝对不会是孤单一人

And, yes, that's why I meddled with Troy and Britta.

没错 所以我才撮合特洛伊和布雷塔

You caught me.

你猜对了

I was trying to make life go according to some script .

我本想让生活按某种规划进行

I can't.

我做不到

You can't.

你也做不到

We both need to get more comfortable winging it.

面对生活 我们要学会随机应变

At least it'll be less work.

这样会轻松许多

It would cut down my Dreamatorium time by 18 hours a week.

我以后每周只在幻梦空间中待18小时

I could take up yoga.

我也可以练瑜伽

You've got the body type.

你身材很适合瑜伽

Now let's get you out of here.

我们想办法把你弄出去吧

I don't know how.

我不知该怎么办

These fake shackles don't have a fake key.

这些幻梦手铐可没有匹配的钥匙

Isn't that what a... quantum spanner's for?

所以量子扳手就派上用场了

Technically, no.

理论上说 不对

But that's fine.

但就这样吧

So should we get back to lunch?

一起回去吃午饭吧

I guess so.

好的

A little more anticlimactic than I would have simulated it,

不过这次环境模拟有点虎头蛇尾

But whatever. - Anticlimactic?

就这样吧 -虎头蛇尾

Render environment observo-deck, H.M.S. spacetime 12.

渲染环境 飞船操控中心 时空飞船12号

Inspector, set the tachyon drive to hyperjump.

探长 激活超光速加速器准备时空跳跃

We must get to the other side of this star field before the Blorgons intercept.

我们要在河蟹战警追上前 抵达星空的另一端

Blorgons in this sector ?

这片区域的河蟹战警吗

Well, this mission has gone pear-shaped, indeed.

这次行动已经完全失控了

Prepare to hyperjump on my mark .

听我命令 准备时空跳跃

Bugger the dovecoats, inspector.

探长 穿铁皮的河蟹战警来了

We're too late! Blorgons!

我们慢了一步 河蟹来了

Eradicate! Eradicate!

斩草除根 斩草除根

Our quantum blasters are useless against their armor.

量子波打不透他们的盔甲

We're as cooked as Lord Nelson's mutton, we are.

我们这下死定了 万劫不复了

Not if I can help it.

我要出马解决这一切

I'll see you on the other side inspector...wherever that is.

在星空的另一端见 探长 不论何地

Don't you mean "Whenever that is"?

你是不是想说 不论何时

Take that, Blorgon scum!

尝尝这个 河蟹渣渣

You'll blo-gon me for this later.

瞧我把你河蟹个精光

Ow, Annie!

安妮

Oh, oh, my God!

我的天呐

Abed, I'm so sorry.

阿布蒂 太对不起了

No, no, you're committing.

没 你很是投入

This is good stuff.

干得不错

Thanks.

谢谢

I am Abed Nadir...

我是阿布蒂·纳德尔

And I don't know a lot of things everyone else knows.

大家都通晓的东西很多我都一无所知

I wander the universe with my friend, Troy, doing whatever I want.

我与伙伴特洛伊一同在宇宙中穿行 随心所欲

Sometimes accidentally hurting innocent unremarkables.

有时会不小心伤到无辜路人甲乙丙丁

This week, however, Troy went to lunch and I adapted.

这周特洛伊去吃午饭 我便见机行事

I now have the ability to enter the minds of others.

现在我有了解读他人思想的能力

I'm hungry, are you hungry? - Yeah.

我好饿啊 你饿了吗 -当然了

I'll make us buttered noodles.

我去煮点黄油意面

Using an elusive new technique known as "Empathy".

用的是 同理心 这一难以捉摸的新招

So was the other fast food place worth the drive, Shirley?

费那么大工夫开车去那家店值吗 雪瑞

You know, half way there I thought, "What am I doing?

走到一半我就想 我这是在干吗啊

It's the same fast food place in a different location .

只不过换了个地 还是一样的快餐

Have the margins of my life become so narrow?"

我何时变得如此眼光短浅了

So I went to the mall and had pizza.

于是我去商场买了块披萨吃

I be the matrix today.

我今天够波折吧

Sounds like this has been a game-changing day for all of us.

看来今天对所有人来说都是转折点啊

I almost sat on my balls, but at the last second, I made an adjustment.

我差点坐到自己的蛋蛋 不过最后一秒 我侧了侧身

Good job! - Good work.

好样的 -干得好

Good job, man.

好样的 伙计

Well, we had a good lunch, too.

我们的午餐也很愉快

Yeah.

可不嘛

I spoke to the manager about Die Hard, And I told him he should be ashamed of himself.

我跟餐厅经理就《虎胆龙威》做了交涉 我告诉他 他应该为自己感到羞耻

Thanks.

谢了

Sorry I bailed on the Dreamatorium.

很抱歉我今天没去幻梦空间

It's okay, Annie did pretty good in a pinch .

没关系 我和安妮成功化险为夷

All right, back to cramming?

好了 继续温书吧

The people at the bank loved my outfit.

银行那边的人喜欢我这身打扮

And they had all kinds of questions about it and my answers seemed to amuse and

他们问了各种问题 我的回答让他们很开心

-and even liberate them a little.

甚至是解放了他们的思想

A few of us went to lunch and I had the deepest conversation of my life.

我和一些人共进午餐 我们进行了有生以来最为深刻的谈话

I gotta go, I'm telling everybody.

伙计们 我得走了

Hmm, maybe after a long, dark night, the sun is starting to rise on Greendale.

约束(或限制); 也许漫漫长夜过后 太阳终要在格林德尔上方升起了

Maybe. Maybe not.

也许吧 也许不会

You never can tell what kind of day you're gonna have.

你永远无法写定将来的日子

Okay, I didn't really avoid sitting on them.

好吧 我其实坐到了蛋上

I...sat right on them.

直直地坐了上去

I'm sorry. - Pierce, I'm sorry.

真可怜 -皮尔斯 我很抱歉

Hurt like hell.

疼死爹了

I saw eagles.

我都眼冒金星了

Troy and Abed in the morning

特洛伊和阿布蒂的早间秀

Today we're joined by Annie Edison... - Hi!

今天我们请到了安妮·埃迪生 -大家好

Who's gonna show us how to spruce up your apartment on a budget .

她将教大家如何用最少的钱装饰自己的公寓

So, Annie, what inspired this throw?

那么 安妮 你这想法是怎么来的

Well, I just thought that I'd cover up the stain where Abed spilled code red on the couch last week.

我是想到了我要清理干净 阿布蒂上周在沙发留下的鲜红点点

Oops. Crafty.

真机灵啊

And you have some tips on entertaining.

而且你要在款待客人方面支些招

Yes, if you're expecting company, but you don't have enough chairs, you can bring out pillows from your bedroom and use them on the floor for a Moroccan feel.

没错 如果家里有人造访 然而椅子却不够 你可以把卧室里的枕头拿来 铺在地上坐 很有摩洛哥感觉哦

Ooh, a taste of the orient .

很有东方风韵Actually, boys, I have a little surprise for you. 伙计们 我为你们准备了惊喜While you two were out playing blazer tag... 趁你们玩运动枪的时候准备的

That's laser tag with sport coats.

那是穿运动服玩激光枪

I did a little extreme bedroom makeover!

我给卧室来了个大改造

I unbunked your beds and got scrap fabric and-- It's okay, buddy.

我把上下铺拆开了 弄了些布料 伙计 没啥的

We can put it back.

我们可以恢复回来

We can put it back the way it was.

可以按原样恢复回来

I'm so sorry. - It's okay.

太抱歉了 -没关系

It's--cut, Garrett.

快切掉 加瑞特

Sorry!

抱歉