S03E11 — Hot 'n' Brown's coffee really wakes me up to the fact that its coffee sucks.

Hot 'n' Brown's coffee really wakes me up to the fact that its coffee sucks.

鲜又浓 家的咖啡 让我清醒 意识到它有多难喝

I miss having a coffee shop.

真怀念这里的咖啡小铺

Now where am I going to get my cappuccinos and Sarah Mclachlan CDs?

现在我要去哪里买 卡布奇诺和莎拉·麦克拉克兰的CD

It wasn't that great. If I had this space, I would have served fresh fruit and sandwiches, and I would've got rid of that take-a-penny, leave-a-penny nonsense .

原来的不怎么样啦 如果是我经营 我就会卖新鲜水果和三明治 我会取消毫无道理的 拿走一分 留下一分

If the good lord wanted you to have a penny, you'd have one.

如果上帝让你有一分 不留也会有

Pierce ...

皮尔斯

Why do you look like a wealthy murderer?

你怎么一身富翁杀人犯的打扮

I look like an entrepreneur.

我这是企业家打扮

Now that my dad's gone, I'm expanding Hawthorne industries by investing in new products.

现在我父亲去世了 我要通过投资新产品 来扩展霍桑企业

Like...These. - What's that?

比如说 这个 -这是什么

It's an automatic security camera that can tell your friends from intruders.

这是自动安检摄影头 可以区分朋友与入侵者

How does it work?

原理是什么

Your guests have arrived.

你的客人到了

Threat level four.

四级威胁

Your guests have arrived.

你的客人到了

It's not calibrated.

还没经过校准

Wireless racism. The future of the past is now.

无线种族歧视 过去的未来现在实现了

Why don't you put your money into a good idea, like Shirley?

为什么不进行合理投资 比如雪瑞的生意

Oh, I made that offer the first day I met her.

刚认识她那天我就提议了

She almost broke my nose.

她差点没打断我的鼻子

I mean , Shirley's good with food, you have capital , and Greendale has real estate .

雪瑞擅长烹饪 你有资金 学校有经营的地方

What are you talking about, Britta?

你在说什么 布雷塔

I'm talking about the whole reason you came here-- To start a business.

我在说你来上学的原因 不就是为了自己做生意吗

What do you think, Shirley?

你觉得怎样 雪瑞

Should I have my people call your people?

要不要让我的人打电话给你的人

I mean, not your people.

你的人不是指你们黑人

I could think about it.

我可以考虑下

Is Shirley Bennett in the house?

雪瑞·伯纳德在吗

The year was 1991.

那是1991年

Andre, what are you doing here?

安德烈 你在做什么

Spring fling dance.

春唇欲动舞会

See, that's where I first laid eyes on Shirley Edwards.

那是我第一次注意到雪瑞·爱德华A vision in hyper color and hammer pants . 她穿着变色衫和哈伦裤

Baby girl, I have loved you ever since there was a Soviet Union and only one Damon Wayans.

宝贝姑娘 苏联还存在的时候我就爱上了你 那时叫戴蒙·韦恩的只有一个

Baby, I know I've made mistakes, but I'm so happy we've made it through.

宝贝 我知道自己犯过错 我真的很开心我们重归于好

But there's one thing, something important, that we keep putting off.

但有一件事 非常重要的事 我们一直在拖延

Will you, Shirley Bennett, marry me, Andre Bennett, again?

你 雪瑞·伯纳德 是否愿意再次嫁给我 安德烈·伯纳德

Yes, yes, again!

愿意 愿意 愿意再嫁

Shall I notify authorities?

需要我报警吗

It's cool that Andre and Shirley are getting married again.

布; 安德烈和雪瑞复婚真是件大好事

There's a whole generation of viewers that didn't get to see the original .

整整一代观众 错过了原版 只能看翻拍

Let's hope it's more of a Bale than a Kilmer situation.

希望能像贝尔版的蝙蝠侠强过方基默的原版一样

Second weddings are okay, I guess.

第二次婚礼应该还行吧

If I had to rank 'em, uh...

如果给我的婚礼排序

It would go fourth, seventh, second, fifth, first, third, sixth.

应该是四七二 五一三六

No, wait--first then fifth. - Got it-- Fourth, seventh, second, first, fifth, third, sixth.

不是 一五才对 -明白 四七二一五三六

When's our culture gonna outgrow this wedding thing?

我们的文化何时开始如此夸大婚礼的

You're anti-wedding, now?

你现在是反婚礼派了吗

No, she's just pro-anti.

不 反对的她都同意

No to everything you both said.

不是你们所说的全部

Weddings are like little girls' tea parties, except the women are the stuffed animals, the men are making them talk, and they're not drinking tea, they're drinking antiquated gender roles.

婚礼就像是小女生的茶会 除了女人是毛绒动物玩具 男人让她们说话 大家喝的也不是茶 喝的是古老的性别角色

Somebody tell Britta what an analogy is.

有人能告诉布雷塔类比的意思吗

I know what it is.

我知道类比

It's like a thought with another thought's hat on.

就好比一个想法戴在另一个想法的头上

Look, I can't get behind this marriage thing, either.

我对婚礼也不太感冒

It was invented back when "Till death" meant "Till your first cold."

发明这游戏时 死亡 意味着 第一次感冒

I mean, life's too long to spend it with someone else.

如今漫漫人生长路 岂能陪一人度过

It's a sucker's game. - It's a mutual cop out.

这是失败者的游戏 -是相互反悔

I mean, just nut up and die alone.

互的，彼此的; 就不能豁出去孤独终老吗

Hello. - Oh, my god, we're so happy for you! - You are glowing.

大家好 -天啊 真为你高兴 -你真是满面春风

I know, isn't it exciting?

我知道 好激动哦

The rehearsal is in two days, and the wedding is the day after that, on our anniversary .

婚礼彩排在两天后 接着就是婚礼 是我们的周年纪念日

And I'm sure you all can make it, because you're already here.

我肯定你们都能出席 因为大家都已经到了

You're having your wedding in the study room?

你要在自习室举行婚礼吗

Our church has certain policies regarding things like second weddings, and tight jeans and...

我们的教堂规矩还是挺严的 比如说二婚 紧身牛仔裤

calico cats.

杂色猫

Um, Jeff, I was wondering if you would do us the honor of giving a toast at our wedding?

杰夫 不知道有没有这个荣幸 请你在婚礼上致辞

Good idea!

好主意

Jeff has a lot of thoughts about marriage.

杰夫对婚姻的看法可多了

I would be honored.

这是我的荣幸

Shirley, do you need any help with your wedding?

雪瑞 你的婚礼需要帮手吗

This probably sounds silly, but every time I see a wedding idea I like, I put it in a little scrapbook.

说出来挺傻的 但每次我看到喜欢的婚礼点子我就会加在剪贴本里

Oh, that's nice.

真好

We can help too.

我们也可以帮忙

We just saw The inspector spacetime wedding episode , So we know what pitfalls to avoid .

我们刚看了《时空探长》的婚礼集 知道什么样的错误应该避免

Be sure to get a DNA reading of your prospective mate .

一定要确认下对方的DNA

Inspector spacetime ended up marrying himself as a baby.

时空探长就娶了自己的婴儿版

I think I got this.

我有个主意

Everyone just come and...

大家都来就行了

relax and behave normally .

放轻松 举止像个正常人

That's the noise people make when they're offended in all the movies that Annie rents.

安妮租的所有电影中 被冒犯的人都会发现这种声音

We'll try not to embarrass you at your community college library wedding.

我们会尽力不在你的 社区大学图书馆婚礼上让你丢脸

Thank you. - Oh, Shirley, I managed to set up a meeting with the dean, so we can pitch him our sandwich shop idea.

多谢 -雪瑞 我想跟院长约个时间开会 向他展示我们三明治小店的构想

I've already registered a website-- It's, uh, h-t- t-p, colon, forward slash, forward slash, W- w-w, period , members, period , webplicity custom sites-- all one word--period,

我已经注册了网站 网址是 HTTP 冒号 斜杠 斜杠 WWW 点 会员 点 子虚乌有自定义网站 无空格 点

C-o-- - Oh, I don't know, Pierce. co -

我不知道 皮尔斯

I'm way too busy for that now with the wedding and everything.

我现在要筹备婚礼什么的太忙了

Bye-bye, everybody.

再见了各位

I have to practice my walk.

我得练习入场步伐

Great.

这下好了

Another business venture down the toilet.

又一桩投资黄了

No problem, I've still got plan "C."

没事 我还有第二后备计划

Ladies and gentlemen, the trouser bench.

女士们先生们 见识一下 裤裤椅

For the man on the go who makes frequent stops.

专为走两步停一步的人士设计

Will somebody please call all the ambulances?

谁叫一下救护车吧

I can't believe Shirley.

真受不了雪瑞

We should show up at this wedding and be the most normal people in the world.

我们参加婚礼的时候 肯定能表现得正常得要命

Yeah, I could go as Normal man and you could be my trusty sidekick Ordinario.

对 我扮 阿正 你扮 阿常 我们是最亲密的好机油

No. That's already weird.

不行 听着就很怪

We'd be playing into her hand.

这就正中她下怀了

We should just show up wearing boring gray suits with gray ties and gray shirts.

我们应该穿着最普通的灰西装 系着灰领带 穿着灰衬衫

We could dye our hair gray.

可以把头发也染灰

And then we could lay down on the sidewalk and be invisible .

然后躺在人行道上假装隐形人

You know, maybe Shirley's got a point.

看来雪瑞那么说还是在理的

I have an idea.

我有办法了

What if we purged all the weirdness from our systems?

事先把所有诡异元素从系统中清除 怎么样

You mean-- - A full 24-hour weird-down in the dreamatorium.

什么意思 -在幻梦空间来个 全天不停歇 驱诡行动

Just you, me, and our imaginations--no restraints.

就你 我 外加所有幻想 不设墙

By the wedding, our temptation to act weird will be gone.

到婚礼那天 我们身上的诡异气息肯定能散尽

I'm feeling more normal already.

听完就神清气爽 顿感正常

Crab walk home? - Yeah.

蟹爬回去? -好

Shirley, my ninth-grade English teacher used to say, "There will always be a reason not to follow your dreams."

雪瑞 我九年级的英语老师总是说 追逐梦想的路上总会有障碍

At the time, he meant I was under the age of consent .

他当时的意思其实是我还没到法定年龄

But his words still apply .

但这句话还是有用的

Are you sure your wedding is the reason you're bailing on this business with Pierce?

你确定要因为婚礼的关系 退出跟皮尔斯的生意计划吗

Uh, in the words of my ninth-grade English teacher, "You are dippin' and dappin' and don't know what's happenin'."

我九年级的英语老师说的是 你们也就露个脸糊里糊涂过一遍

Fine, we both went to public school.

好吧 咱都上的公立学校

It's just that I don't want to see you slide

我只是不想让你又回到那种

into your old comfort zone . - You don't know that.

温水煮青蛙的环境 -你怎么这么说

I am gonna start a business-- soon!

我要做生意的 过一阵就做

I can't help it if I have floral arrangements to pick. And a DJ to hire-- Shirley, if that really is your excuse,

但是我还要选花 找DJ 忙不过来 雪瑞 如果你要这么说的话

I will plan your wedding for you!

我帮你准备婚礼

Thank you.

谢谢

Oh, my good God. Thank you for that.

天哪 谢谢你

I was serious.

我是认真的

Britta, you're not planning my wedding.

布雷塔 我不会让你帮我筹备婚礼的

What if Annie helps? - Oh, hey, guys.

要是有安妮帮忙呢 -姑娘们

Did someone say "Annie", "Help," "Wedding,"

我听到了 安妮 帮忙 婚礼

And something about maybe hydrangeas?

好像还提到了什么 绣球花 是不是

Shirley, you can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me.

雪瑞 你可以自欺 但你欺不了我

Do not use your second wedding as an excuse to limit yourself.

别拿二婚当借口 限制了自己的发展

Pierce, come here.

皮尔斯 过来

Shirley, do you take this man to be your business partner ?

雪瑞 你愿意跟这个人结成生意伙伴吗

Mmm, I guess. - Sure.

凑活吧 -好

I had to shelve the trouser bench anyway .

反正我的 裤裤椅 也要暂时搁置了

There are still some parts of the prototype that need to be extracted.

还有几个样品零件要拔出来呢

Maybe you're misunderstanding?

你们想歪了吧

I mean, from my butt.

我是说 从菊花里拔

Excuse me.

先走了

Meet Shirley.

雪瑞登场

She's modern, she's urban , she's fun, and she's hungry.

她是摩登女郎 她是都市白领 她幽默风趣 她饥肠辘辘

You probably notice she's black, but not a stereotype--

你可能也注意到了她是黑人 不过是改良版

Suburban black. - Is she suburban or urban?

城郊黑人 -她到底是城郊的还是城里的

She's half-urban.

城乡结合部的

Let's say-- writer's secret, bad pitch-- Her father's a record producer, her mother's a shirelle.

别纠结了 就当我设定失误好了 她爹是唱片制作人 她娘是辣妹

We're supposed to be preparing a business pitch.

我们是要做企划书

What about revenue projections? What are the margins gonna be?

预期收益怎么样 盈余情况又如何

Shirley, Shirley, Shirley........

雪瑞呀雪瑞

Sweet, innocent Shirley.

天真的小雪瑞

What was the question? - Look, this was Britta's stupid idea.

你问什么来着 -听着 这都是布雷塔撺掇的

I'd rather be with my man, planning my wedding, and you'd clearly rather be with Halle Berry in 1999.

我还是跟我老公一起筹备婚礼吧 你呢 就守着那个十几年前的哈莉·贝瑞吧

Pleasure not doing business with you.

很高兴不跟你合作

Shirley, Hawthorne wipes fired me.

雪瑞 霍桑纸业把我解雇了

They were just waiting for my dad to be out of the picture.

他们就等着我老爹挂的这一天呢

I'm not an entrepreneur.

我不是什么企业家

I'm just a kid with a bunch of money, I...

穷得只剩下钱了 我...

Please, please, help me be somebody.

求你了 帮我成点事业吧

Let me invest in you.

就让我帮你投资吧

First thing we need to figure out is our overhead .

首先我们要把经营费用算清楚

Do you have a pen?

你有笔吗

Yeah.

有

These pockets.

这么多口袋

Do you know someone that can buy a pen?

你知道谁会买笔吗

Yes!

知道

Well, have you thought about the color story for your wedding?

关于婚礼的色彩 有什么故事要带入吗

He means the theme of the wedding.

他是指婚礼的主题

Right, Dale?

对吧 戴尔

Same theme as every wedding-- conformity, blind participation, and patriarchal--

就最普通的三从主题嘛 顺从 盲从 夫从

What about pink? - We don't call it pink.

粉色怎么样 -不能叫粉红

We don't call anything by its name.

我们从来不直呼其名

That's, like, day-one floral school stuff .

这可是花饰最基本的常识

This is citrine. This is opalescent.

这叫柠檬 这叫蛋白石

This is sea glass, cameo, and cerulean.

这叫海草 浮雕 还有蓝天

Come on, how difficult is this?

拉倒吧 能有多难啊

You do one of these, one of these, One of these, this one, This one and, like, stick a ribbon on it. Happy?

一枝这个 一枝这个 再一枝这个 这个 还有这个再绑个丝带 行了吧Britta, that's a really beautiful arrangement . 布雷塔 你插得好漂亮啊

Color me lavender.

我薰衣草了

'"Lavender" Means "Impressed."

薰衣草 就是 震惊 的意思

Yeah, well, great-- flowers look good in a pot.

有什么的 花插在瓶里就好看呗

There are people dying in uganda.

这会儿乌干达正血流成河呢

Got it.

好吧

Don't eat my skin!

别吃我的皮

I am shaving everything!

我见啥削啥

Well, that should do it. - Yeah.

这应该就好了 -对

My god, isn't tonight Shirley's wedding rehearsal?

天哪 今晚不是雪瑞的婚礼彩排吗

Look at how we're dressed.

看咱俩穿的

Yes, this simply won't do.

是啊 这肯定不行

Let's change into something appropriate for the occasion and be on our way.

咱们换身得体的衣服就走吧

I agree.

起，惹起; 好

Troy and Abed being normal.

特洛伊和阿布蒂要正常

Annie!

安妮

I need your help.

帮我个忙

You're, like, sentimental and stuff.

我知道你感情最丰富了

I'm really having trouble coming up with a toast.

我憋不出婚礼贺词

I find that hard to believe, Jeff.

我可不信 杰夫

You once convinced Troy that turtlenecks were made of turtles' necks.

你有次都骗倒了特洛伊 说圆领毛衣[字面意思龟脖]是乌龟脖子做的

It's true, my superpower is that I can assume any position that suits my purpose.

没错 我就有这种超能力 为达到目的可以无中生有

In that example-- keeping turtlenecks as an option for myself, down the road.

你刚说的那种情况 是我耍心眼 想只有我能穿圆领毛衣

But I do have a kryptonite.

但我也有软肋

It's so obvious to me that marriage is dumb , I can't even pretend to get behind it.

我觉得结婚这件事简直蠢透了 我没法装出一副欢天喜地的样子

You know what I think would make the perfect toast?

知道怎样才能想出好的祝辞吗

You, as Shirley's friend and a good guy, just saying what's really in your heart.

你身为雪瑞的好友 堂堂好男儿 把心里所想的说出来就好了

There's something real in there.

内心深处最真实的东西

Maybe that's what scares you.

也许正是它使你胆怯

I could use a drink.

喝点小酒吐真言

Shirley's sandwiches can offer students more food for less money, and provide the campus with a higher percentage of the profits.

雪瑞三明治可为学生提供物美价廉的食品 并且能给校方带来更多利润

Pierce, put up the next slide.

皮尔斯 放下张幻灯片

That's me!

这不是我吗

Where'd I get all that money I'm holding?

我哪来的这么多钱

I'm gonna tell you the three reasons that Shirley's sandwiches and your cafeteria are going to be successful.

我要告诉你三点 雪瑞三明治和你的食堂 能够大获成功的原因

Well, then I'm writing this down, hmm?

我是不是该做点笔记

Wait.

稍等

Here's a pen.

给你支笔

Thank you.

谢谢

Holy crap!

我的老天

Britta, you're really good at this.

布雷塔 你很行啊

I know.

这我知道

What's wrong with you?

你怎么了

This may shock you, Annie, but I come from a long line of wives and mothers.

安妮 这会惊到你 但我从小就受各种母亲和妻子的熏陶

Many do.

这很正常啊

But I ran away from it my whole life.

但这给我的影响一生都甩不掉

I refused to give Santa a christmas list, because I didn't want to depend on any man for anything.

我不给圣诞老人写礼物单 是因为我一丁点都不想依靠男人

And now, look at me!

结果现在 瞧瞧我

I'm Betty Crocker. I'm Martha Stewart.

我简直就是贝蒂妙厨 家政女王

I'm one of the Steppenwolf wives.

我就是荒原狼的怪物妻

Ohh, God.

老天啊

I'm gonna make some man very happy someday.

将来娶我的那个男人真是三生有幸

Easy. - Slow down.

慢点喝 -别噎着

What's with you guys?

你们俩又是唱哪出

We de-whimsified ourselves.

我们 去怪异化 了

Yep. We're normal now.

没错 我们正常了

Oh. Good?

挺好的

Hey, anybody seen Shirley?

你们谁看见雪瑞了

What? Shirley's late to the rehearsal for her wedding?

啥 雪瑞自己的婚礼彩排都迟到

Oh, my. - Hey, man.

真不可思议 -伙计

You don't have to be sarcastic.

别挖苦我了

I'm not being sarcastic.

没挖苦你啊

We're heavily invested in your situation.

我们为此投入了很多

Nothing's more important to us than your second wedding's rehearsal going smoothly.

对我们来说 没有什么能比 你们复婚彩排的顺利进行更重要

Walk away, man.

伙计 一边凉快去

Hey! Did you think of a toast?

想好婚礼祝辞了吗

Well, yeah.

想好了

Uh, I had a drink, and I looked in my heart, and here's what I got so far-- "Webster's dictionary defines--"

我喝了杯酒 审视了一下自己的内心 这是我目前想到的 韦氏字典中的定义

Stop!

快打住

'"Webster's dictionary defines"?

韦氏字典中的定义

That's the Jim Belushi of speech openings-- It accomplishes nothing, but everyone keeps using it and nobody understands why.

吉姆·贝鲁西讲话都不会这么无聊 这种祝辞空洞无聊 但不知为何 大家却一直这么搞

Yeah, well, it's all I got.

是啊 我只能憋出这个

That took me eight hours and six Macallan neatses.

这就是八个小时和六杯无水麦卡伦的成果

Look, I'm sorry, I just don't believe in marriage.

抱歉 我就是不相信婚姻

I do. It's inevitable .

我相信 婚姻是不可或缺的

And then I'd put a counter across here and the ovens there.

然后要在这边摆收银台 那里放烤箱

Okay, okay.

好的 好的And how fiscal will the quarterly earnings be? 每季度利润的财务预算是多少

Well, initially, the fiscal-- Wait, that question makes no sense.

最初 财政状况会是 等等 你这问题太不着边了吧

I know.

我知道

I just want to sound as good at business as you are.

我就想跟你一样 商业术语脱口而出

I probably shouldn't say this, but I cannot believe you learned all this at Greendale.

或许这话不太得当 但真难以置信你这些都是在格林德尔学到的

You're very professional .

你太专业了

I am, aren't I?

可不是吗

I brought sodas, so we can toast to our futures.

苏打水来了 一起为未来举杯吧

Look at me now, dad.

爸 我现在风光了

Dad? Oh, my God, I'm supposed to be looking like a bride for my wedding rehearsal to the dad of my children.

爸 天啊 坏事了 我本该打扮得漂漂亮亮的 跟孩子他爸一块参加婚礼彩排

I'm coming, baby.

宝贝 我这就来了

That was...

这可真是

and odd dot to connect .

思维太跳跃了吧

Give me another.

再给我来一杯

What's with you?

你怎么了

This is who I am.

这就是老娘的本性

Andre, sorry I'm late.

安德烈 抱歉我来晚了

I have wonderful news.

我有好消息

Where were you? - Uh, getting wonderful news.

你去哪了 -制造好消息去了

The dean loved our pitch and-- Your pitch?

院长喜欢我们的营销广告 你的营销广告

Woman, I've been waiting for you for two hours.

姐们 我等了你俩小时了

Oh, no. Has it been that long?

不会吧 有那么久嘛

I'm so sorry.

我好抱歉啊

Don't you dare use your sexy voice on me.

别拿你那性感的嗓音魅惑我

It's just a rehearsal.

不过是场彩排

Lord knows we've done it before.

我们婚都结过了

That's not the point.

重点不在这里

Shirley, I thought this wedding was supposed to be the start of us getting back to normal.

雪瑞 我以为这场婚礼会是 我们回归正轨的开端

Back to normal? - Yes.

回归正轨 -没错

I need to not be Mr. Mom anymore.

我不能再又当爹又当妈了

Okay, I got to get back to my stereo business.

我要回去搞我的音响生意

You know my store's been struggling.

你知道我开的那家店一直不景气

I'm sorry, Andre, But "Normal" went out the door the day you did.

很抱歉 安德烈 你离开家的那一刻就再无 正轨二字了

Well, if we can't get back to the way things were, why the hell are we getting remarried?

如果不能像从前那样 那他妈复婚有什么意思

These shrimp are to die for.

这些虾简直是美味之至

Walk the plank.

给我走跳板[海盗处死俘虏的一种办法]

I think you've mistaken us for pirates.

我们可不是海盗

We are community college students.

我们是这所学校的学生

Abed, I just had an odd thought.

阿布蒂 我突然有个奇怪的想法

What if once you go from being weird to normal, you can never go back to being weird again?

一旦从不正常变到正常后 万一不能变回不正常该怎么办

That is an odd thought.

这想法确实挺奇怪

Well, let's hope it's the last.

希望别再有怪点子蹦出来了

Cheers to that, my everyday friend.

干一杯吧 我无时无刻不在的好机油

Hello, everyone.

大家好

Shirley asked me to say something nice at her wedding.

雪瑞希望我能在她婚礼上说一些祝福的话

This is the rehearsal. - Shut up, Leonard!

这只是排练啊 -伦纳德 你给我闭嘴

Those teenage girls you play ping-pong with are doing it ironically.

和你打乒乓球的那些个小姑娘都是在逗你玩儿

I searched my heart...

我掏心挖肺地想啊

For something nice to say at a wedding.

想婚礼上到底说什么漂亮话合适

And I found nothing, so I had a drink.

我什么都没想到 所以我就喝了一杯

And then I looked real hard.

然后我又绞尽脑汁地想啊

And you know what I found?

你们猜我发现了什么

My daddy said he would stay with my mommy forever, and he left!

我老爹说过他会和我妈长相厮守 结果他却跑了

Marriage is a lie! Nobody commits to this!

婚姻就是一谎言 没人把它当回事儿

Nobody stays with anybody forever, So why do we keep lying?

俩口子过一辈子那就是一神话 那我们为什么还要在这儿撒谎呢

I'm gonna stay with somebody forever.

我还想和某人相伴一生呢

It's in my stupid DNA.

我的蠢命里注定的啊

I was born to be a wife and that's all I'm ever gonna be!

我是穿着嫁衣出生的 我一直都想做一个贤妻良母

You expect anyone here to believe that?

你还希望有人能相信婚姻吗

I don't care if anybody believes it, jackass!

蠢货 我才不在乎有没有人相信呢

It's a fact! - Prove it, ding dong!

这是事实啊 -证明给我看啊 没招了吧

There are a lot of layers to this.

争论有点儿趋向白热化啊

It's almost too conceptual to follow, but...

他们说的都太抽象了 但是

I love it.

我就喜欢抽象的

So that's what this was all about, Andre?

安德烈 你就是为了这点事儿跟我生气

Just about wanting me back in the kitchen?

就是想让我回归家庭做家庭主妇吗

I thought you loved being a wife and a mother.

我以为你喜欢做贤妻良母的

Of course , but can't you see That's not all I'm about anymore.

我当然愿意 但是你没看出来吗 我不仅仅是一个贤妻良母了啊

Hi, sorry, don't want to interrupt .

不好意思 无意打断你们啊

But you are cordially invited to prevent a disaster .

但是现在需要你们来制止一场悲剧啊

I promise to put your dreams before mine .

我发誓永远做你背后的女人

I promise to bottle up my repulsion at the sight of your hair in the drain .

我发誓看到你在下水道里的头发时 永远都不吐槽

I promise to earn no more than 70% of what you would make at the same job.

我发誓如果和你做同样的工作 我挣的钱绝对比你的70%少

What about babies? - What about 'em?

孩子怎么办啊 -他们怎么了

How many? - Pick a number, dick!

你想生多少 -蠢货 随意说个数

Like, it's up to me!

老娘能生着呢

What in god's name are you two doing?

你们俩在神坛前干什么呢

Getting married.

结婚啊

What does it look like we're doing?

那你说我俩像在干嘛啊

You two are damn fools. Oh, sorry.

你俩都傻到家了 对不起

I'll allow it. - I am a fool.

没关系 -我是个傻子

I was a fool to think I wasn't destined for a life of this.

我傻到认为自己这辈子都不会结婚生子

I mean, look around.

看看周围

Can you even imagine what kind of wedding I could throw if I actually gave a crap?

你们能想象如果姐们儿我上心的话 那得搞出多棒的婚礼啊

No offense . - Knock it off.

不好意思啊 -滚开

Being good at weddings doesn't make you good at marriage.

擅长婚礼策划不代表你适合结婚

Exactly.

没错

People can make all sorts of promises, but they never stick it out.

人们总是承诺一大堆 但是没几个人认真

It's not something you just stick out, man, all right?

哥们儿 这可不是什么能说到做到的事儿

It's a risk that you take together.

你们俩在一起太冒险了

And you don't just promise it once.

你承诺一次可不行

You got to promise it every day.

你得每天都履行承诺

Yes, but the person you're making promises to is going to change. You have to accept that.

但是你们做出承诺的那个人是会改变的 你们也必须接受这一点

I do. But do you promise to be patient when that person's stereo business takes a little while

我可以 但是你能保证耐心等到那个人的 音像生意在不久的将来

to get off the ground. - I do, but...

重新崛起的那一天吗 -我可以 但是

Do you accept that ten years is more than a little while And that ipods aren't going away, and maybe it's time to let somebody else take the lead?

你能接受这不久的将来有十年那么长 而且iPod没有退出市场的意思 或许是时候该让别人来当顶梁柱了吧

I do.

我愿意

You do?

你愿意吗

Yes, baby, I swear I do.

是的 宝贝儿 我发誓愿意

Then I promise I will do whatever it takes to make this work forever.

那我就发誓不管发生什么 我都会和你长相厮守下去Well, in that case, let's rehearse this bad boy. 既然这样 我们就开始彩排吧

Actually,You pretty much just married each other.

实际上 你们把誓言都差不多说完了

If you let me pronounce you man and wife, You can kiss the bride and you can save like, um, 70 bucks.

如果你们允许我宣布你们结为夫妻的话 你就可以亲新娘了 而且你们还能省下70刀

What do you say, baby?

你说呢 宝贝儿

Done and done. Husband and wife.

结了 你俩正式结为夫妻了

Now how about it?

现在我们是不是应该

Let's party!

派对开始了

Lame.

真无聊

Abed.Abed! Abed!

阿布蒂 阿布蒂 阿布蒂

We're weird. We need to be weird.

我们是怪人 我们应该当怪人

You want to see something weird? Check out this dance.

你想见识什么叫真的古怪吗 看看这舞蹈

Uh, what did you call this? The "Lindbergh lean "?

你管这叫什么舞 林德伯格舞

What'll they think of next?

你觉得他们下一步怎么跳

Inspector spacetime...

时空探长Ohh, thank the cosmic engineer I found you. 太空工程师我可找到你了

Troy, this is hardly the time.

特洛伊 现在不是耍宝的时候

Or is it hardly the space?

或者是不对的场合

Okay, I see what you did there.

好吧 我知道你要做什么

But now I have to get back to my lindbergh lean With, uh--I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.

但是我现在必须得接着跳我的林德伯格舞 和这位 不好我没记住你名字意思

Inspector... What sort of creature would do a dance called the lindbergh lean?

探长 你觉得什么样的生物 会跳林德伯格舞呢

Blorgons? - Blorgons.

物; 河蟹战警吗 -河蟹战警

My name's Danielle.

人家叫丹妮尔

Constable Reggie, it appears the blorgons have developed

雷吉警官 好像河蟹战警能够

the ability to take human form. - Weirdos.

变成人形了 -怪胎

Your photonic bowler hat.

带好你的光子碗帽

Blorgon Patrol.

河蟹战警终结者

Shirley, I have some good news and bad news.

雪瑞 我有一个好消息和一个坏消息

The good news is the board loved your sandwich shop idea.

好消息是董事会爱死三明治小店的想法了

The bad news is that they made a few calls and sold the space to Subway , the sandwich place.

坏消息是他们打了几个电话 把那个地方卖给了赛百味 也是卖三明治

What? Pierce and I put a lot of work into that idea.

什么 皮尔斯和我花了大量的精力

How could you do this, dean? - I'm sorry!

你怎么能这样呢 校长 -对不起

The board went over my head on this one.

董事会在这件事上根本不听我的

And I don't remember being invited to your wedding, So I guess we're even on the hurting-each-other front.

还有我还记得我没被邀请参加你的婚礼 所以我觉得我们互捅了对方一刀

I'm a blast at weddings.

我可是婚礼傲客啊

There go all my dreams.

我的梦想都完蛋了

This is just a setback.

这只是暂时性的困难

You don't have to give up just because of subway.

你不用因为赛百味的介入就放弃梦想

Guess I better go break the news to pierce.

我想还是赶紧把这事儿跟皮尔斯说说吧

He's not gonna like this.

他肯定非常失望

Remember that temper tantrum he threw When adam sandler "Stole" His idea for Jack and Jill?

还记得那次他以为亚当·桑德勒偷了 他关于《杰克和吉尔》的创意而大发雷霆吗

You're underestimating him.

你小看他了

I think Pierce is a lot more mature than we all give him credit for.

我觉得皮尔斯比我们想象的要成熟得多

Look at me now, dad! How's it taste?

老爹 看看现在的我 你什么感觉啊

How many sandwich places did you have?

你有几个三明治店啊

None!

一个都没有