S03E08 — Why did I go Greendale?

Why did I go Greendale?

当初为何选择格林德尔

So I can keep my job and get busy with my education.

在这里 工作学习两不误

To meet different people.

可广交形色友人

Because Greendale's a slam dunk.

因为格林德尔全场瞩目

So why should you-- - Why should you-- Why should you go Greendale?

那么为何 -为何 为何要选择格林德尔

That's easy.

好说

Greendale has the most advanced typing class in the southwestern Greendale area.

格林德尔的打字班 其教学水平 在格林德尔西南区首屈一指

And now you can register by fax.

现在还可传真报名哦

Go Greendale, go Greendale, go!

格林德尔 加油向前冲

That, as you probably know, is the currently- running commercial for our school.

大家或许也知道 这部 是我校现用的招生广告

Yeah, I always see it during late-night marathons of Fantasy Island.

知道 我总在午夜成人剧场 看到这广告

That's not an accident .

并非工作失误

It's the result of intensive targeting.

这叫做密集化市场策略

But now, Greendale's school board has given me a budget of $2,000 to update our little ad.

而现在 格林德尔校董事会 批下高达两千美刀的预算 交给我重拍广告

Are you sure it should change?

你觉得有必要重拍吗

I chose Greendale over City College because of the way that one dude goes...

当年我之所以弃城市学院 择格林德尔 就是冲着广告里那哥们的 二 手势

You know I love to be seen agreeing with you, Troy.

特洛伊同学喜欢这广告 我很欣慰

But this is our chance to make Greendale's most reasonable dreams come true.

但这可是我们为格林德尔 一圆王者之梦的最好时机

And I need your help-- all of you.

我需要你们大家 所有人的帮助

That's okay, Jeffrey.

没关系 杰夫瑞

You can say no.

不想的话别勉强

This school asks very little of its students.

校方一向对学生所求甚少

It mainly gives.

只是痴痴关怀

I feel like you guys might know what I'm talking about.

个中深意 大家都懂吧

How can we help?

什么忙 说吧

Oh, thanks for asking.

承蒙相问

I've chosen you, Greendale's brightest, most coincidentally diverse , hispanics not withstanding, Study group to star in our commercial.

我已选中你们 格林德尔最上进 除却拉美 人种齐全的学习小组 来参演本次广告

Ooh. - Pick a character .

哇 -选个角色

We start this weekend.

这周末开拍

Oh, we get to be on TV!

哇 咱要上电视了

But if we're shooting this weekend, why are these cameras here?

既然周末才开拍 为何摄影机现在就摆出来

Abed, true to form, has decided to do the weird thing and film a documentary instead of helping.

阿布蒂 一如既往 选择逆主流而上 袖手旁拍纪录片

As a student of character, I have a feeling that trying to make this commercial may cost the dean his sanity.

根据我对人格学的研究 我强烈预感 这次广告拍摄会让院长发狂

And my camera follows the fire, not the smoke.

我的摄影机 只求拨开迷雾看真相

Ever seen Hearts of Darkness?

看过《黑暗之心》吗

Way better than Apocalypse now.

比《现代启示录》可好看多了

What's the catering sitch going to be on this picture?

广告拍摄的后勤人员呢

This isn't Hollywood, Pierce .

这里不是好莱坞 皮尔斯

If it was, these glasses would be tinted, And I'd be friends with Stevie Nicks.

如果是 我就会戴着彩色眼镜 和史蒂薇·妮克丝称姐道妹了

No catering.

没有后勤服务

This is outrageous.

太怠慢演员了

I'm not leaving my trailer till there's food.

没有饮食供应 我绝不离开房车

You don't have a trailer.

你没有房车啊

Well, then, I'll rent a trailer.

那我就去租一辆

And I won't leave it till I have the one I don't have.

不给我再租一辆拖车 甭指望我离开这辆

I'm an actor, not a circus freak.

其实 我是一名演员

Oh, no.

哦不

I needed to go that way.

走了我的路 让我无路可走

Eh, I'll loop around.

那我绕过去吧

All right, let's rehearse this mamajama.

好吧 我们把这货重来一遍

Does everyone know who they are?

都知道自己的角色吧

Where's my script girl?

场记妹哪去了

It's supervisor, and I'm right behind you.

是剧本指导 我就在你后面

Thank you, supervisor girl.

多谢啦 指导妹

Faster than a locomotive.

比机车还快啊

A script supervisor is the person that tells everyone to stay on script and keeps careful notes to prevent logical inconsistencies.

剧本指导的职责 就是提醒演员遵从剧本 并作详细拍摄记录 避免逻辑性硬伤

So... basically the star.

差不多算是明星

We open on a typical day at Greendale, Only the students all look happy and you can't smell that smell.

我们从格林德尔寻常的一天拍起 只不过 学生一反常态 活泼向上 大家要装作没闻见那味道

Troy?

特洛伊

'"Why do I go Greendale?"

为何选择格林德尔

'"With three kids at home, you better believe every penny counts."

家中有三个孩子 便知柴米油盐贵

'"To meet different people."

可广交形色友人

And then, you and Troy hug-- if you're comfortable with that.

然后 你和特洛伊拥抱 希望你们不介意

Of course . - Yeah, Troy and I are buds.

怎么会 -对啊 特洛伊和我是好兄弟

Best buds. Air Buds, even.

好巴迪 神犬巴迪

Feeling stupid.

感觉好傻

And then, the camera pans, and enter dean Pelton.

摄影机摇摄 派尔顿院长进场

I got stuck with the role of the dean.

既然院长一角无法推辞

So I'm going to show him how much of a dean I can be.

我就演给他看 自己多有院长范

And I've got a feeling I won't make the cut.

我有充分信心 肯定一条就过

Welcome to dean-dale community colle- dean.

欢迎来到 院长 德尔 社区大 院

I'm a silly goose.

我乃二逼青年是也

Honk, honk. Dean-a-lee-doo.

嘎嘎嘎 嘎嘎嘎 我是卖萌的小行家

Look at me. - Stop.

瞧一瞧看一看 -停

This is my sister's outfit. - Jeffrey, stop.

穿着我姐的衣服 -杰夫瑞 给我停下

You've hit gold. Save some for the screen .

你的戏火花四溅 可以休息待拍了

All right, people, scene six is up first.

大家注意 第六幕先拍

Oh, and I don't think Pierce is coming back.

皮尔斯估计回不来了

Can someone fill in as the pencil?

谁能替补铅笔的角色吗

Pierce Hawthorne, screen of stage and star, will not leave this trailer until he gets a trailer.

皮尔斯·霍桑 舞台银幕双栖明星 分到房车之前绝不离开这辆房车

And then I'm not leaving that trailer until there's catering.

没有后勤招待 绝不离开这辆房车

And I'm not eating the food until-- And action .

我要一直绝食到 开拍

Why go Greendale?

为何选择格林德尔

Just because, just dean it! Dean machine.

因为所以 院长有理 院长威武

Got dean, got much, much got-- And cut.

院长千秋万代 一统 卡

Oh, a star is born.

新星冉冉升起

I suggested to the dean that we shoot my scenes in front of the Luis Guzman statue because the dean has no legal right to broadcast Guzman's image ,

我向院长请缨 在路易斯·古兹曼雕像前 完成我那幕的拍摄 因为院长不享有 古兹曼的肖像传播权

Which means every shot will be unusable.

这样所有镜头就会全部作废

I even put a call in to Guzman's lawyers to alert them.

我都和古兹曼的律师打好招呼了

I'm always willing to go the extra mile to avoid doing something.

为了临阵逃脱 我常能为人所不能

Like sex with women.

比如把妹不上垒

Shut up, Leonard, you smell like mentholyptus.

闭嘴吧伦纳德 您老人家都快霉了

What are you even doing here?

你来这里干什么

I'm thinking about breaking into the TV game.

我打算在拍摄中乱入一下

Since it's apparently sticking around.

阵仗这么大 不由我不入

I don't want to wake up in 30 years and wonder "What if?"

我可不想30年后 午夜梦回之时 还悔不当初

'"Because this full-time mama ain't breaking the bank with your expensive tuition ."

哪怕经济拮据的全职妈妈 也一样 上得起

Okay, cut.

够了 停

Shirley, the voice.

雪瑞 这语调不对

Can you make it, um-- I thought it would be more s-- What's another word that means happy/threatening?

能不能变得更 我要的效果是 表达刁蛮活泼的那个词怎么说来着

The word he's looking for is "Sassy."

他想表达的是 娇俏

He better pray he don't find it.

这小子最好别想起来

As soon as we get this shot, We are done.

拍完这组镜头 我们就宣告完工

Your phone is ringing. - Oh.

手机响了 -哦

Dean deaning. - Dean Pelton?

院长 -派尔顿院长

Hey, man, how you doing? It's Luis Guzman.

哥们 最近还好吗 我是路易斯·古兹曼

I hear you're making a commercial for Greendale, and you need permission to use my face or something?

我听说 你在为格林德尔拍摄广告 需要向我申请肖像使用权

Well, I, um... Uh...

这个嘛 我

Well, why not use the real thing?

干脆真人上镜吧

I'm sorry?

你说什么I'm saying, I'd love to be in your commercial. 我说 我很愿意参演你的广告

Wowee!

哦也

A real big-time celebrity wants to be in my commercial.

我的广告请到明星本尊啦

Wowee.

很好

A real big time celebrity wants to be in my commercial.

我的广告请到名人参演了

Come on down. - Yeah, that's cool.

来吧 -没问题

But listen, I've got to finish this movie, So, you know, I can't come for a couple of weeks, all right?

不过呢 我得拍完这部电影 你明白的 要过一两周我才能赶到 行吗

Mr. Guzman, Luis, thank you.

古兹曼先生 路易斯 谢谢你

And can I just say, I loved you in-- Innnnnnnn...

在此衷心祝愿 祝您的新片一举在 在在在在

IMDB. IMDB

荣登榜首

See you soon, man.

回见了兄弟

That was tragic.

脸都丢尽了The students here mean well, they really do. 无可否认 学生演员也算尽心尽力

But what Greendale has always needed is a miracle .

但格林德尔需要的 是一个奇迹

This is it.

没错

This is how I get to put Greendale on the map.

这是格林德尔名声大振的最好时机

You know, I thought this commercial was going to be okay.

之前 我确信这广告必属佳作

Well, guess what?

可现在 你猜怎么着

It just officially became great.

要正式升为名作了

Let me give you a little rundown of this commercial's great elements.

我来给大家细数 这广告的看点所在

Luis Guzman is in it.

有路易斯·古兹曼出演

I'm sorry, will you excuse me?

抱歉 失陪下

Everyone gather 'round, quick announcement.

全体集合 紧急通知

Come on around.

全体集合

Everything that we shot so far is worthless .

之前拍的所有镜头统统作废

I've thrown it out, and we're starting over tomorrow morning.

全部推倒 明早开始重新拍摄

Why? - Because...

为什么 -因为Luis Guzman is in the commercial now, so... 路易斯·古兹曼将参演广告

yeah. For realsies.

没错 千真万确

Everyone, go home. I'm rewriting all of your parts.

所有演职人员 下工回家 我要重写你们的剧本

Except for you, Jeffrey.

除你之外 杰夫瑞

You have locked into something here.

你的位置无可动摇

And the only thing your character needs is more screen time.

你的角色万事俱备 只待展示

It's great that he got a celebrity,

能请到明星出演实属幸事But why reshoot everything? - Perfectionism. 但为什么要推倒重来呢 -完美主义作祟

The dean's first step down a road that ends in self-destruction.

院长的新导上任一把火 终将成戏终人散千古恨

That sounds... horrible .

听起来有够 悲催

Actually, I might end up taking this to some festivals.

院长给力的话 我或许还能带着这纪录片参加国际影展呢

The dean's production has taken over the entire school.

院长的大作搅得校园鸡飞狗跳

Classes are shut down.

学生停课

The quilting club is being forced to sew costumes.

缝纫俱乐部被抓来制作戏服

Two females, both 5'10", one brunette, one with asthma.

召唤两位女演员 身高五尺十寸 一个黑发 一个哮喘

He's also using the p.A. System for casting calls.

他还用有线广播来喊演员

Okay, everyone-- Does everyone have their new script?

大家准备 都拿到新版剧本了吗

Uh, it says I'm supposed to be a book reading a book.

根据剧本 我要演一本读着书的书

That--that doesn't make sense.

这简直扯淡嘛

What's this?

这是闹哪样

Scene four.

第四幕道具

Last night, I had an epiphany.

昨晚我得蒙圣启

I'm ready to step this mother up a notch.

我准备再放猛料

This commercial is going to push every button , Starting with the one that is so hot, it will sizzle your finger--

广告将内涵深远 犀利毒辣 一上来 就打出炙手可辣 连手指都烫掉的

Racccccce.

种族牌

And action.

开拍

'"To meet different people."

可广交形色友人

Cut! I'm coming in.

卡 听我讲戏

I am trying to pull a 400-year-old dagger out of this nation's heart, and you two are hugging.

我正致力拔除使祖国 作痛400年的心头刺 这一壮举全靠你们的拥抱

Her, I understand, but you?

她不热情我理解 可你呢

What did I do?

我做错什么了

You didn't. Let's take it again!

你什么都没做 重拍

'"To meet different people."

可广交形色友人

Again.

再来

'"To meet different people."

可广交形色友人

I need more!

多点热情

More!

强烈点

Wrong! Fight the power!

又错了 奋力抗争

Fight it with your hugs.

用拥抱打破壁垒

Tear down those walls.

尽释坚冰

Okay, you get this wrong one more time, I'm segregating the school.

听好了 你们要敢再错一次 我就封校

'"To meet different people."

可广交形色友人You can't even do it when we're helping you! 有人帮忙 你们还做不到

Somebody help her!

来个人扶一下

To meet different people!

广交形色友人

Stop saying I'm different!

别再提肤色问题了

Dean, we've spent 12 hours on this scene.

院长 这一幕已经拍了12小时了Maybe it's time to move on to something else. 或许该先拍其他场景

I'm in psych 101, and even I don't know what's happening.

我是学基础心理的 都破不到院长的心思

The dean is going insane and taking all of you with him.

院长偏执成狂 还要拉着你们陪葬

If you know that, then do something!

既然知道内情 就快采取行动

I'm doing everything I can. I only have so many cameras.

已经尽力了 我只有这几部摄影机

I've spent an entire day in this thing for no reason.

一天就这么无缘无故搭进去了

What if the shoot drags on for another day?

如果拍摄又拖延一天呢

Or, god forbid , two.

或者不幸拖延两天

And action, and move.

开机 走位

'"This full-time mama ain't breaking the bank- -"

全职妈妈照样上得起

Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut--Garrett, You're not taking advantage of the motion capture technology .

卡 卡 卡 加勒特 动作捕捉技术根本没利用起来

You have to move.

你不动作 怎么捕捉

I forgot what I am again.

我又忘了自己的角色了

Oh, for crying out-- you are a microscope !

我勒个老 你是显微镜啊

No, that's a toilet.

你这样更像马桶

No, that's clearly a frog who can't get out of a box.

这样像一只挣扎想爬出盒子的青蛙

Jeff thinks he has it bad?

杰夫以为自己很惨吗

As Jeff's understudy, I have to wear my Jeff wig on top of my chang hair and then my bald cap on top of that.

作为杰夫的替身 我得在我的秀发上 戴上他的假发 再戴上秃瓢头套

There's no air getting through here.

严严实实 密不透风

I'm literally dying.

简直是不让我活啊

But you'll never hear my story.

替身的苦楚永远没人知道

I mean, now you heard it, but... that was close.

你不也差点就不知道嘛

Are you sure you can't work a little faster?

就不能尽快拍完吗

Nobody asked for perfection.

不用吹毛求疵

Well, perfection is what you're getting.

院长出品 必属佳品

And if you don't like it, you can fire me.

如有不满 任君处置

Yeah, if we don't like it, at this point, we definitely will fire you.

那好 到了这个当口 我们不会手下留情

Good. That's how I like it. Ha!

那好 我就喜欢刺激的

I'm surrounded by assassins.

危机四伏啊

By own school's paper has turned on me.

连校报都开始攻击我

But when this is all over, I'll have a commercial with Luis Guzman in it, And all they'll have are their words and their fears and whatever embarrassing photos they can get from my two-faced mother.

不过一旦尘埃落定 我将拍出路易斯·古兹曼参演的广告 而媒体呢 只能捕风捉影 造谣生事 从我那两面三刀的老妈那里 挖几张难堪照片爆料

Garrett, I've got two men in diapers here.

加勒特 有两个穿尿片的哥们候场

I know one of them is playing the dawn of a new era in education, But I've got nothing on the other one.

我知道其中一个 要扮演教育的希望之光 但是另一个是来干嘛的

Oh, I'm just a guest of the dean's.

我只是院长的客人 过来打个酱油

Well, both of you go that way, then.

地，肯定地; 好吧 你们俩 这边走

The dean had his seventh epiphany today, which has given me an epiphany of my own.

院长已经第七次 得蒙圣启 了 让我也 得蒙圣启了一把

The dean is a genius .

院长必然是个天才

He has to be.

毫无疑问的

If he isn't, I've given almost two weeks of my life to an idiot. That is unacceptable.

如若不然 我就是将两周的青春年华 交与了一位蠢货 这事实我没法接受

Therefore the dean is a genius.

如此推断 院长是个天才

And I will die protecting his vision .

我要以死捍卫他的真知灼见

Are you by any chance familiar with Stockholm syndrome?

你知道斯德哥尔摩症候群吗[女人质爱上绑匪]

Is it something that the dean created?

是院长大人的创作吗

Because if not, I don't care.

如果不是 就不关我事

We all wanna go, but the dean won't let us.

我们都想收工 但院长不会妥协的

I think Pierce played this the smartest from the beginning.

我觉得皮尔斯一早退出是正确的

He's probably at home watching forensic files and eating cheesy popcorn.

他这会可能正窝在家里 边看《无言铁证》 边吃奶酪爆米花呢

Well, about time.

很好 是时候了

Hey, that's for Luis Guzman.

当心点 这可是路易斯·古兹曼的车

Well, when you get me my trailer, he can have it back.

很好 给我单独派辆房车 我就还他

And make it as nice as this one.

要和这辆一样棒

Hey, dean. Dean? Hey, dean!

院长 院长 院长

Pierce mistook me for the dean today.

皮尔斯今天把我错认成院长了

I want windows. - How did that make you feel?

我要有窗户的 -你作何感想

I've become a stranger to myself.

我看自己都觉陌生

I'm bald now. I've always been bald.

我化装成光头 却感觉生来如此

I merely dreamt of having hair.

有头发的曾经 恍若梦境

And now the bald man is awake.

现在光头人格觉醒了

Jeff?

杰夫

It's time.

到你上场了

Lights, camera, dean.

灯光 摄像机 院长就位

Action.

开拍

Why go greendale? Just because!

为何选择格林德尔 因为

Cut. Cut.

卡

Lose the bald cap.

把头套摘了

What? - I don't like it.

啥 -我不喜欢

It's hokey, it's fake .

太做作 太假了

Take it off.

摘下来

No.

才不

I beg your pardon, actor?

你说什么呢 小演员

I have worn this stupid thing for 12 days.

这货我戴了整整十二天

I have made bald friends.

我都融入秃头圈子了

Well, that's your mistake.

那是你的错

Because it's a lie. It's Hollywood crap.

这般虚伪做作的好莱坞俗套

And I won't allow it in my commercial.

在我的广告中决不允许出现

You're not bald.

你根本不是光头

Yes, I am.

我是

Well, then, you're wrong for the part!

那好 这角色不要你演了

Understudy!

替身登场

That's it.

就是这个

That's reality .

这才叫货真价实

Winger, you're done. Go home.

翁格 没你事了 回家去吧

Go home.

回家歇着去

Okay, I don't know why, but this is the last straw .

好吧 我不懂这是为啥 但我受够了

As a licensed psychology major , I am declaring this production a violation of human rights.

作为一名执证的心理学专业生 我宣告 本次拍摄严重侵犯了人权You have made us prisoners of your insanity. 我们都成为你精神错乱的牺牲品

Shut your face, Britta.

闭嘴 布雷塔

If the dean wants his role to be played by a chinese man in a blond wig-- Oh, my god, you are insane.

如果院长大人决定 找位金毛中国男扮演他 那就 天呐 你真是疯了

All right, I'm sick and tired of hearing complaints that I'm forcing people to be here.

好吧 都在胡扯 说我强迫你们留下 这话我已经听得烦腻了

Anyone who doesn't want to help me can leave!

不想参与拍摄的可以走了

Abed, stop! - Okay.

阿布蒂 别拍了 -好的

Keep rolling.

继续拍摄

Hello? Hello.

喂 喂

Hello?

有人吗

); Hello, it's me. Luis Guzman.

喂 是我啊 路易斯·古兹曼

Okay.

Hi, Mr. Guzman, Dean/Director Craig Pelton. 你好 古兹曼先生 克拉格·派尔顿院长兼导演

Sorry, I've been editing.

抱歉 我在忙着剪辑

It's a little bit of a mess .

有点小乱请见谅

What the hell is that?

这他妈是啥

Oh, that's a possum.

是只负鼠

Once you spend some time with them, you see they're just like big, gentle rats.

耐心相处一会 你就会发现 它们就像温顺的大老鼠

Who's the guy? - I'm no one.

这家伙是谁 -我谁也不是

That's Abed. He's a little bit odd.

他是阿布蒂 怪里怪气的

Now, without further ado, here is the commercial you will be staring in.

让我们开门见山吧 这就是你即将参演的广告

Why do I go Greendale?

为何选择格林德尔

I've got to make a phone call.

我得打个电话

I had to tell this dean I couldn't do his commercial.

我得告诉院长 我演不来这部广告

He didn't take that too well either.

他没太明白我的意思

Y'all gotta help this dude.

你得帮帮这家伙

I mean, aren't you his friends?

你不是他的朋友吗

I'm more of a fly on the wall.

我现在是狗仔跟拍党

What is go-- What?

到底怎 什么

You won't be in my commercial, but you'll be in his stupid documentary?

你不想出演我的广告 却愿意在他愚蠢的纪录片里露脸

All he does is follow people around.

他只是跟拍 毫无编辑Yeah, but haven't u seen Hearts of Darkness? 没错 不过你看过《黑暗之心》吗

way better than-- - I want you the hell off of my campus , you ungrateful backstabber.

比起那部 -你给我 滚出学校 你个死没良心的

I already got rid of your trailer.

我已经让人把你的专属房车拖走了

I had a trailer?

我还有个房车

Can anyone hear me?

有人能听到吗

I will walk off this production.

我要退出剧组

I will quit ! Hello?

我真要退出了 有人吗

I come here to shoot this commercial for Greendale.

我来这是为了给格林德尔拍招生广告

That's what you had written on the script.

你的剧本原本是这么写的

Ugh, that script was terrible .

这剧本弱爆了

I thought it was pretty good.

我觉得很好啊

Of course you'd think that.

你当然这么想

You went here.

你不都来了吗

Oh, I get it.

我明白了

You're worse than crazy.

你不仅仅发了疯

You're ashamed of your school.

你令学校蒙羞

And that--that statue of me out there, that's just wrong, man.

在外面树我的雕像 那可不太好 伙计

Well, the bronze adds ten pounds.

没错 青铜比实际重了十磅

Nah, man-- - It's not going to be perfect.

不是这样 -本应十全十美的

Screw you.

去你的

I'm just saying, don't worship the people leaving Greendale.

我劝你一句 别一心仰慕离开格林德尔的校友

Worship the people that are here.

要珍重现在的学子

Worship this place. It changes people's life.

珍重格林德尔本身 它能改变人的一生

Look, I loved my time here. I got laid like crazy.

我怀念这里的学生时代 那段年少轻狂的时光

That's way before Boogie Nights too.

当然是在拍《不羁夜》之前

Look, this is a special school.

这所学校非同一般

You don't deserve to be here.

但你不配待在这

Are you still filming, Abed?

你还在拍吗 阿布蒂

Yeah, but try not to address me.

没错 请别提到我

I'm not really here.

当我路人一枚

Neither am I.

我也是

I don't think I can finish my commercial.

我想这广告拍不完了

But I think I know how your documentary ends.

但我大概知道 你纪录片将怎样结尾

Hi, I'm Craig Pelton, Dean of Greendale Community College.

我是克拉格·派尔顿 格林德尔社区大学的院长

I have failed this school.

我辜负了学校的期望

I have failed it because I thought I was better than Greendale.

错就错在 我曾以为 我比格林德尔牛多了

See, I went to a university, so I thought it was my job to improve this place.

毕竟 我念过大学 于是我以提高本校素养为己任

But it turns out that the only thing wrong with Greendale is that it's run by an insecure wreck who holds five dances and two talent shows a year.

更好; 可事实证明 格林德尔史上唯一的失误 就是把院长之职交给了我 这位在一年内 只获过五次舞蹈奖 两次才艺奖的废柴

Because he's afraid that the school isn't good enough.

他总担心学校不够出色

But Greendale is good enough Because it accepts me for what I'm not.

但其实格林德尔已经很棒了 承蒙错爱 我才有栖身之地

Greendale is the best school in the entire world, And I'm so sorry what I've done to it.

格林德尔是世界上最棒的学校 我对自己的所作所为十分后悔

And I'm sorry what I've done to the ice cream machine.

我对冰淇淋机的所作所为也不对

Please, no one eat out of it until you clean the nozzles.

清洗喷嘴前 请不要口对口取食

The janitor knows how.

人在做 管理员在看

I'm horrible.

我是个浑球

I'm horrible.

浑球就是我

Gentlemen, what I'm about to show you is not the commercial you paid me to create .

先生们 我要给你们看的 不是你们投资的广告

What I am about to show you is a glimpse into my mind and soul.

我要给你们看的 是我心灵的真情流露

Please hold your questions until the end.

我明白你们肯定有一大堆疑问

I know you will have a lot of them, But I'll understand if you'd rather I just leave.

但请你们看完之后再提问 如果你们希望我滚蛋我也能理解

Why do I go Greendale?

为何选择格林德尔

The dean is a genius.

院长是个天才

To meet different people.

可广交形色友人

With three kids at home, you better believe every penny counts.

家中有三个孩子 便知柴米油盐贵

I loved my time here. I got laid like crazy.

我怀念这里的学生时代 那段年少轻狂的时光

So why should you-- Why should you-- Why should you go to Greendale?

为何选择 为何选择 为何选择格林德尔

Greendale is the best school in the entire world.

格林戴尔是世界上最棒的学校

Go Greendale, go Greendale, go!

格林德尔 加油向前冲

It's good.

很棒

Y-you know what, better than good.

我觉得可不仅仅是很棒哦

Good enough.

棒极了

Is there any more of the crazy Chinese guy?

还有那位抽风中国男的戏份吗

He pops.

他很出位

I'm confused. That's not my commercial.

我有点晕了 这可不是我的广告

I-I didn't make that.

不是我拍的

Yeah, yeah, okay, Zemeckis, it moved through you.

好你个泽米基斯 深藏不露啊[即罗伯特·泽米基斯 著名导演]

Anyway , congratulations.

不管怎样 祝贺你

That should last us another 16 years.

这广告又可以对付十六年了

So, uh, what's next?

那 接下来干啥去呢

Chump's rusty bucket ? - Quarter taps.

天上人间怎样 -怡红楼也不错

Did you do this? - You did mostly.

是你拍的吗 -大部分是你拍的

You got the footage you needed on the first day.

早在拍摄第一天 素材就齐了

I added a little bit of my footage to fill in the gaps.

我的镜头只起个串联承接作用

I thought you were a fly on the wall.

我还以为你只是狗仔跟拍党

Some flies are too awesome for the wall.

偷拍也分三六九等

Documentarians are supposed to be objective , to avoid having any effect on the story.

纪录片应该保持客观 避免对事件造成任何影响

And yet we have more effect than anyone.

然而这一部却影响深远

Because we decide to tell it.

因为我们决定讲出这个故事

And we decide how it ends.

自己掌控故事的结局

Will your story be yet another sad one of yet another man who just wanted to be happy?

而你们的故事 是否同样悲伤 是否有一个人 也想重拾快乐

Or will your story acknowledge the very nature of stories and embrace the fact that sharing the sad ones can sometimes make them happy?

你的故事 是否揭示了一切故事的本质 如实承认 分享悲伤的故事 往往能创造快乐的结局

Before you say anything...

先听我说

Nope, I've got nothing.

算了 有话直说吧

Can you just forgive me?

你们能原谅我吗

Yep.

好的

Why?

为什么

Because we've all been there.

因为人皆有过 也正因如此

Which is why we're all here.

我们才齐聚格林德尔

I'm a good dean?

我这个院长称职吗

Yeah.

当然

Can someone help me get a live possum out of my office?

谁能帮我把办公室的负鼠请走吗

We could do that.

交给我们吧

It just keeps jumping and skittering.

它在我办公室里上蹿下跳 闹个不停

And you think you're prepared, and then it skitters again.

刚有点心理准备 它又闹起来了

Okay, scene's over.

好 本幕完

They'll be ready for you in 20 minutes, Mr. Garland.

预计二十分钟就位 加兰先生

Great.

很好

I'm a star!

爷是大腕

Give me that.

给我

I will not be mitigated.

爷决不妥协

Okay, you know what?

听好了

I'm not coming out of this trailer until I get a new trailer.

不给我派辆新房车 就甭指望我从这房车里出来

and get me a Granola bar!

再拿点格兰诺拉燕麦卷